I made it.

Well, I am now sitting on my couch in my new apartment. I have my TV set up (no cable) with my DVD player and Xbox video game system. I have my stereo hooked to my iPod and I have wireless internet. I have 4 fans scattered around the place as I only have air con in the bedroom and it's an old clunker. This place is much more like the cottage as compared to the castle I have been inhabiting foo the last year. But, this place is mine, to do what I like, when I like and how I like. My room is smaller and I have two spare rooms, one for painting and one for guests. I will get cable and my phone hooked up soon I think... the cell works fine (not really, but almost).

Today, my students wanted to know what "Nice" was. I told one student to leave the class and come back. He walked in and I greeted him and gave him my drink and wallet and asked if there was anything I could do for him. I asked who was next, I picked the smallest kid. When he left, I took the lid off the garbage can. He walked in and I grabbed him, swung him upside down, hung him from his ankles and put his head in the garbage can. "This is NOT nice," I said. He didn't actually touch the empty garbage can and even he was laughing uncontrolably. So, after this ALL the students wanted to try, too bad, "teaching" was over, time for the next lesson.
Jam mentioned how most of my class stories end up with a student in the garbage can... hmmm.

I woke up thismorning and realized all my morning stuff was missing... or in a box. So I dug to find a razor, I used soap and water to shave. While looking for toothpaste, I found my shaving foam and shaved a second time to get what I missed. I grabbed a sub from Subway and went to work. Work was ok. I finished at 7, went to my old apartment, grabbed what I forgot, cleaned a little and came here and set my place up. It looks ok, the floors need a cleaning cause my feet have a pretty good tan on the underside... or it's dirt.

Kill me please.

Well, I moved, sort of. All my belongings are in one of my rooms in my new apartment. My old roomate, Paul (Taiwanese), lent me his friend's Volvo luxury car. Yes, I moved in a stretch sedan with leather, beats the crap out of moving with a backpack and my motorbike. Especially when I did 6 trips in the car, fully loaded. By the way, I can never return home. I have too much crap. The blue truck I was going to use was going to cost me $100CAN so I put $8 gas into the Volvo instead.

So, I am dead tired, and I ahve not eaten today. I moved virtually by myself and it sucked. I hate moving... and now I am beat. All I want is a shower, a clean T-shirt and something non-carbonated and suger free to drink to supplement my Coca-cola diet today. Hmmm.... I think I have a Kokanee beer in the fridge, it's only a little carbonated. Yeah. Well, on this note, I will shower, drink my beer and go home to a fresh T-shirt.

P.S. My weekend sucked.

P.P.S. Paul freaked out at me because I took his Xbox video cord... it was eventually found in his room. Just another beef on the BBQ.

It has come.

Well, my "new" temporary cellphone "works", meaning it rarely turns off by itself. I don't know why. But, a new phone is coming as soon as one of my co-workers friends leaves. So, yeah. I guess you can call me. The big move is on Sunday, still haven't found a truck and it ain't gonna happen on a motorbike. However, I can move a queen sized mattress on my motorbike, so I guess anything's possible. Looking forward to my own place, no... my own SPACE. Taiwan isn't like home, there is no space, it is the size of Vancouver island and only a third of it is inhabited, the rest in mountain. So, pack two thirds of the population of Canada into one third of Vancouver island and then tell me how much personal space you have. So, I will have 3 bedrooms to myself, one for me, one for my painting and crap and one for junk.

Let's see, today in class I recorded our reader book. It is for students who have been in my afternoon class for 8 months for 10 hours a week. I recorded it into their recorders and then read it with them repeating after me. I always say the wrong words to see if they are reading it or just parroting me (Jane went to the farm, I would change farm to zoo). Well, today I started throwing in some Chinese, then I just read 10 pages of it completely in Chinese and the students repeated the English. After, I played a game where I read a sentence in Chinese and they had to find it on English, it actually seemed to work pretty well, they loved it and they were reading every sentence and trying to comprehend it in order to be the first to find the English equivilent. I think my boss might get pissed if I'm speaking Chinese so much, but he never seems to care about me anymore. Cool, I think... I would be worried, he never comes into my class but he does say that my students are great, whatever, I'm having fun, they're having fun and I think they might even be learning some English without even realizing it. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Oh, I asked my boss for a week off in October and he gave it to me, I must be doing something right.

Also, I put a link to Theresa's blog on the right side of the screen if you want her perspective on Taiwan.

I'm still in the mood to take a jet to Peng hu for a weekend once I get my new place up. A good chance to blow some money.

Goodnight.

New pet.

Well, I have a new pet. I saw a little thing on the wall today, so did the cat, so as soon as I saw that it was a gekko, the cat was in midair slamming into it. So, I kicked the cat off as it was trying to devour this convulsing worm... it was the gekko's tail, so cool. Somehow the cat got the gekko into it's mouth and then let it go. So, I threw the cat out onto the balcony. I managed to scoop this little gekko up into a traditional Chinese serving set with some water, I even threw in an extra tail for extra garnish. One question, how do you contain an animal that requires water, can run in any direction, even vertically and inverted, and is no thicker than a key ring and no longer than my thumbnail? I'm going to get sick of catching flying insects and stuffing them into the bowl... I need something more airy. Maybe he will survive and then I will release him into the "wild" of my apartment where there are no cats.

Even though the only furniture to move is a mattress, I still say that moving sucks. I don't wanna do it and that's that... why the heck did Jenn have to go to Canada, she was always a whiz at the moving thing. She would have all the breakables wrapped in a comforter, saving having to go get newspaper and crap as well as saving space. If she can get here by Sunday evening, I'll pay for her ticket. Luckily, I only have 18 months of accumulated crap... well... that's still alot of crap.

I managed to move a crappy, but brand new, Taiwanese mattress form my new place to my current place, I bought all the furniture and since I paid for my bed here, I'm gonna swap them so that I may contunue to have good sleep. So, I will have a sofa set, dvd player, xbox, stereo and a nice bed in my new place, what more do I need? Oh yeah, a tv, still don't know what to do about that yet, I am not sure what Paul is going to do cause Nick is moving out of my place also. Too bad, Nick was the PERFECT roomie.

It looks like moving will be under cloudy, but not rainy skies, I think this is a good thing. I have to figure out how to get my stuff to my new place, hopefully by a blue truck. I have a small APB out for one. Blue trucks are sort of like taxi's. You CAN flag them down, but if they are out, they are usually out for a reason, you sort of have to know a guy who knows this guy who knows this guy with a blue truck sort of thing.

It's already Thursday and I am just warming up, work is over before it starts. But... I have only a little packed. So, I should be feeling pretty good for the weekend. By the way, I had a beer while packing last night. I was at 7-11 and saw Boddington's DRAUGHT beer. Draught in a can? So, the pub served stuff is good, so I tried it. It was damn good, it had a "widget" inside to create a foamy head, kind of a cool idea. It tasted just like it was from the tap.

I hope that I can finish packing tonight and tomorrow night, then I can go on a trip this weekend. In my new place, I will have high speed internet, a land line and my cell phone. So, I should be able to be contacted. As well, I should have a decent connection for a webcam and microphone. If anyone wants to visit, I will have 2 spare rooms with a soft Queen size bed and two unknown singles.

Of to 7-11 in search of the mysterious "widget" and then off to pack. When I'm working, it's nice to have a cold "widget" induced refreshment, it's not a regular thing.

...by the way, I do believe that I used the word "pub" instead of "bar" and I have been finding that I use "cheers" to thank peeople and as a parting gesture, do you think that many of my co-workers are from the U.K.? (Actually, I'm from the U.K., but Canada doesn't really count, 'cause we know how to speak true English, eh?) My boss actually refers to himself as "meself"... "Between me kids and me co-workers, me Englie will is be screwed." They'll never let back into Canada, they'll torch me passport the second I touch down.

Talk about Ghost month.

Well, this is ghost month in Chinese culture. There are gates around the city and at grave sites to keep ghosts form passing through. But, on the 8th lunar month, they open the gates, light lanterns and put out a whole buttload of food.

Also, they send money to thier dead relatives. I guess in the afterlife, you need money. Western Uunion has been having a heck of a time setting up shop in the afterlife so they Chinese have devised a clever way of sending money... burn it. You can buy money form the Church, yellow for the gods and silver for dead spirits. Well, if you burn this money, it will go to the gods and they will look more favorably upon you or if you burn the silver money, your relatives will be able to spend it. I thought the Christian churches were good at fund raising... so, many people are burning money outside almost every home and business in special ceremonial burning pots.

Ok, so now that it's ghost month, the ghosts are free to enter the city. Also, food is displayed outside of businesses on tables for the ghosts to eat... even at 7-11. There are tables set up with pineapples, bottles of water and soda, cookies, crackers, etc all with incense sticks sticking out.

The ghosts are on the prowl for new bodies. Today, one of my students went swimming this weekend, no one seemed to care. But you cannot go swimming in ghost month I said. Well, it's ok in the pool, but not in lakes or ocean. I asked why... one of my students crawled to me on the floor, and started grabbing at my pant cuffs telling me he wants my body. He was making weird ghost faces and noises, I was laughing so hard along with the students. I guess if the ghosts are loose, they will grab onto you while you are swimming and drown you, then they can have your body.

I was whistling in class today like I often do and my students FREAKED OUT! They were SERIOUSLY scared for my life or something. The ghosts will get pissed off if I whistle or something, I'll find out more tomorrow.

Well, my "new" cellphone crapped out on me, a teacher gave it to me last night. The ear speaker doesn't work now, it did before... grrrrr..... damn ghosts.

Also, for dinner, I went to a pasta place by my home, it was closed to I went across the street to a Taiwanese food place. One of my favorite foods is "Oooh Hwah Roe" and they had it!!! No more temple trips across the city for this super good food. I'm told it's either a piece of pork form the pig's wrist or abdomen, well, this piece had a bump on it. I asked what the hell it was, she said "Nay Nay" meaning "nipple". So, the mystery is solved, it ain't the wrist. Well, the soup I had with it was a fine broth with no shortage of Chicken feet... everything from the knee down. It was actually pretty good. I also had an egg and some chopped green boiled veggies, nothing special here.

I'm feeling rushed with my new place, can move in on Sunday or Monday and have to be out of here on the Wednesday. I would have been able to get in on the Saturday, but they are going to paint the walls.

P.S. The excised nipple remains in the food carton.

Wow, rollercoaster ma?

Well, it seems like my life is from bad to good and back... but I am happy and enjoying everything.

I went to a BBQ
Killed my phone.
It worked.
But not enough to make a call.
I found Paul's old phone.
It didn't work either.
Used phones are cheap.
I looked at some phone shops but they were too expensive.
I found some really cheap ones but they sucked.Then my phone worked! So I plugged it in and went to bed.
Woke up 20 minutes before work because my phone was fried again.
Made it to work in time.
Didn't get a chance to get any food.
One of the teachers at school offered me her extra phone.
The battery was shot.
My extra battery worked.

Well, now I have a phone that works with all my numbers, I might buy a new battery for it anyway cause this one's only fair.

Anyways, tonight was Jam's birthday, so I took her out for dinner, we tried two nice places, but they close on Mondays. We wound up at T.G.I. Friday's, it was pretty good but super ass expensive. It was a nice evening.

Anyways, gonna watch Sopranos with Paul and Nick.

My phone IS the best!

Well, I have always touted that my Nokia 8210 is the absolute best phone on the market. I have had many people look at my phone and ask me why I don't upgrade it. It's old, ugly, no camera, no flip, yellow and black dot matrix screen (the original gameboy). Well, my reasons: it's cheap, no one wants to steal it, I don't have to pay for sending pictures, it's not flimsy and delicate, no toys and simple to use. I have thrown it on the street just to demonstrate it's strength (it's cheap, remember?) and it has fallen out of my pocket on my bike a few times and has been run over once. I have replaced the $6 cover a few times, works great.

Anyways, I dropped it in the toilet once and let it suntan for 3 days on the patio to dry it off before I fired it up... don't ask. Well, this rain incident was not good, it was under water for more than 10 minutes, not good for electronics. Last night, it wouldn't do ANYTHING, this morning it flashed a little, then I managed to fire it up, but the antenna wasn't working, so I did the smart thing and moved all the memory form the phone to the removable chip. After looking at phones today, it finally worked tonight! So, I guess I have my phone and all the people I can't remember.

So, I still had a SUPER time at the BBQ, I will definately do it again, even if I have to put it on myself.

New things.

Well, since I am freeing myself of my old apartment, I figured it would only make sense to free myself from all the people I know. So, in mm last bid farewell, I decided to attend the BBQ, it was pissing rain like you wouldn't believe. So, I suited up in my plastic pants and jacket and rode my bike to the other side of town. I went with the host's brother. We stopped at Dollars market for some steak and chicken legs, I reached into my outer pocket of my jacket to grab my phone to call to see if there's anything to pick up... well, how much water do Ziploc bags hold? Well, about the same amount as my pocket. Here's a trick to tey at home, place your cellphone in a Ziploc bag, fill the bag with water and then pull the phone out and try to call the people stored on your phone. Well, I reached into my pocket and splash, water spilled from my jacket. Crap.

...I've always wanted a camera phone, they're quite cheap here. I am trying a crappy beat up flip phone till I find a new one, so incomming calls only as the memory might be shot. Yes, I HAD it backed up, but long story short, when I went to Thailand, I made things simple by moving all my numbers from the computer chip from my phone, to my phone's actual memory... damn.

Had a great night, it was 90% English for a change and I met the Grand Master of Schoolhouse (my school, he's the top boss that I have met many times on social occasions, but never knew he was "The Guy")

Bedtime.

Cow Row!

Well, I was invited to a Pot Luck Cow Row tonight. "Cow Row" is Chinese for BBQ, so it's off to Costco for some Australian steaks (Greg, where the heck is that Hereford care package!?!?!) which are still fairly good. These people have been here for many years and they all seem to speak pretty good Chinese, so this will be good for me as I think almost everyone speaks Chinese and not everyone speaks English, a bilingual evening, sweet. So, I will bring some steak, a bottle of Jack D and maybe a salad or dessert.

Her BBQ's always wind up being a relaxing evening on many sofas with much to do about nothing. And her circle of friends are all pretty cool, they seem to speak Chinese and care about stuff and aren't here just to get plastered every night and be stupid. It's nice to meet people who actually try to do things and better themselves. Unfortunately, my time in Taiwan has been somewhat dissapointing because the coolest people I meet, leave... as with everyone else. No one is forever. To be honest, it's kind of cool cause I have people all over the world to go visit who will help me out, but it's kind of disheartening because you build up relationships with great people, only to watch them leave. Someday, I will be one of these people.

I'm getting edgy for another trip, but not outside of Taiwan, I might try for Peng Hu again or Sun Moon lake. Peng Hu is a series of barely inhabited islands between China and Taiwan, an island focused on aiming missiles at China and shooting down Communist fighter jets. It's a hole of an island but the beaches and water are just beautiful, coral everywhere and crystal clear unpolluted water. Sun Moon lake is a lake at the top of a mountain in the middle of Taiwan. There's no swimming there except for one day of the year. But it's in the middle of nature and is surrounded by bamboo and tropical forests.

Who knows, I have this weekend here and next weekend moving.

It's been raining for the last two weeks, it sucks. I guess this is why they call it the rainy season. It still beats the crap out of -45 winters!

Jennifer was right.

Well, Paul (roomate) and I had a falling out tonight. Some issues with the communal stuff we share. We both have different views on the subject.

For various reasons, I am leaving my broken down palace.

My new place, I now own a "pleather" livingroom set that's ok to sit in and good to lie on, 4 beds, one is super great! I have kitchen stuff, a washing machine, an air con unit in my bedroom and a whole whack of other stuff including a full sized fridge. I think things will be more relaxing for me and slightly boring, but that's ok. I think this place might even be about the same budget as the one I have now, and no roomates.

I can't move into the future place till next weekend, the girl who is there is too busy right now, no worries.

Cherry ghosts and conspiratists.

Well, Tuesday felt like Friday and Thursday felt like Monday. I'm ready to start my week of work and it's almost over. Cool.

On Sunday, I bought a box of Cherries, you know... the good ones, Bing, I think. Well, I forgot to bring them to work on Monday and Tuesday, so on Tuesday, I told everyone that if they wanted cherries, they had better text me in the morning to remind me to bring them. Wouldn't you know it, at 11:30AM, I get a text. It was about something completely different, form someone not from my work. But, I remembered and that's the important part. I got to work and everyone cheered that there were fresh cherries and they all wanted one. But, no one remembered to text me, so tough cookies. I laid 'em on the table anyway and offered some to the girls up front. Well, Wednesday night, they were gone... not in the fridge where I had left them either... not in the garbage, not in my classroom... Oh well. Today, I asked if anyone had seem them, nope, I must have eaten them (I didn't). No worries, I'm glad someone got them. When it was break time today, my cherries were in the fridge, but my tiny thing of coleslaw was missing. What!?!?! It's either ghosts or a conspiracy to push me that last remaining inch over the brink of sanity. My co-workers are conspiring against me! I know it! I hear them mumble their secrets in the hallway. They know I'm on to them and they've all confessed... they all take full responsibility for it. Hmmm.....
So, I put the cherries on the table for everyone once again and we all finished them, damn good (and expensive) cherries ($10CAN/ $250NT).

Well, I have somehow figured out my money... I honestly don't know how, but I have paid my deposit and rent on my new place, bought my furniture and still have a wee bit left over for food and TP. Also, the tax office didn't help, they gave me a cheque form the government for my taxes but the banks require 3 days before they'll give me the money. I Canada, a government cheque is good at 7-11.

So, on Monday I will get my tax return money and I should be well on my feet as rent isn't due till October 1st. Also, my paycheques should look pretty good since I've been subbing and working more, maybe my best ever.

This weekend looks like rain as it has been raining almost all week. I predice more rain with a slight chance of even more rain. I guess it a packing weekend... I would prefer to do something cool and then procrastinate.

Also, posting coments on this blog is easy, if you click on the anonymous button, you don't need to register for a sign in name, just write your name in the comment.
Night.

Tuesday, pre-hump day.

Well, today was Tuesday. It all started with an 11 am staf meeting/training. On the good side, I didn't need to bring lunch as it would be provided. Well, the meeting/training dragged for 2 hours. It sucked as it was mainly geared for the new teachers. The pizza came, 2 14" pizzas for 12 foreign staff. That gave me one piece of pizza for the day... don't let Taiwanese staff order for hungry foreigners. So, the foreigners made an order to Bagel Bagel for some sandwiches. Ii drove Theressssa to the scooter mechanic, she got the same thing I did done to hers. The meeting ran late so she had no time to walk cause she had to get to the other school.

Before our first class, we had decided that the day felt almost over... it hadn't even begun! I did my classes and they went well. My last class was a little interesting. One girl had fallen this weekend and cut her lip which was badly infected and ugly. She was covering her lip in class so no one could see. Our reader book question was, What did Jane give to the horse?" She yelled out the answer in excitement, "ASSHOLE!!!"
"What?" I asked?
"ASSHOLE!" came yelling out of her mouth.
...hmmm... when you were little, did you ever pull your cheeks apart and recite "I was born on a pirate ship with a bunch of apples?"... if not, try it.
I guess she was meaning that Jane gave the hoose an apple or something, my students don't know these vulgarities yet, so they didn't see the humour as far as I could from being doubled over on the floor.
I was lounging in my office chair, relaxing while signing homework books and then the secretary rudely inturrupted my class with some silly story about it's 9:25PM and my class ends at 9:15 or something. I was so disgusted, that I decided there will be no more teaching today and I told my kids to grab their bookbags and go home. Oh well, it's bound to happen sometimes, I was on track all lesson, it was just that last little bit, I even started homework books on time. At least we were having fun.

Well, it's off to the government to sort out my money problems tomorrow, collect my tax return, I think that will keep me on a healthy, carefree track. If not, I can always get it from work or my Canadian bank account.

P.S. One of my kids colored me a Canadian flag at home and brought it in for me, it looks like it was carefully ececuted by a Taiwanese 5 year old... wait, it was. So, I'll laminate it and stick it in my classroom.

Goodnight.

Rollercoaster life.

Well, I'm rich, broke, bored, excited, relaxed and insane all at the same time.

Let's start with Thailand, I have no idea how much money it cost me, the numbers don't add up for me so it's time for a visit to the bank. Not that I keep good track of the numbers, but when I'm spending money, I pay more attention. I went to Thailand with $1200CAN and took out about another $800 Can, for a total of $2000CAN ($50,000NT). From this, Ii got to go to Thailand for 2 weeks, ride an elephant, go white water rafting, go to the site of a National Geographic Magazine hot spot (Long Neck Hilltribes) as well as a dying culture, spend 20 hours under the sea free from being encapsulated and free to interact with my aquatic surroundings. I got to see a man eating shark and I was a potential food source, I got to go on night dives and cave diving. I also got to meet one of the most enlightened people on the planet, the Grand Bhudda Master of Thailand, one of the 3 people under the Dhali Lama. I got to see vast cultural history, drive a tuk-tuk and a motorcycle taxi, see a red light district and birng home some awesome souveniers.

Now, for my life in Taiwan. I have lost 2 weeks of work, spent $50,000NT, paid bills, bought a housefull of furniture and I plan on moving into a new 3 bedroom apartment requiring me to pay a damage deposit and rent, a total of $50,000NT ($2000CAN).

So, it's a cash diet for me. Work is going well, I'm enjoying it... I think, I make good money, I think my new place might actually not cost me more than my current place and I am out of vacation. I feel I will hit bottom on this for finances and might have to take some money form my bank at home, but hopefully I can SCRAPE by. The secretary who pays me at my school also offered me a pay advance.

Ii know this place will lead me to a healthier lifestyle with less stress. I think my roomates are great. Nick is the prefect roomate, loves to clean, lives on his computer (actually makes me look like I don't even know how to spell "PC") but he, and his satanic cat, are leaving for Canada in Sept. Paul is one of the coolest dudes I know, he's got about ten years on me and has much wisdom on life (mostly well guided) but we cannot seem to occupy the same space as well as we'd like to. Also, he has a cat that likes to shread my stuff, Paul is much more willing to accept deterioration of material possesions than I am. Maybe this is something I should be working towards, being free of attachment, but I'm not sure that's his motivation either. Anyways, we can be roomates or great friinds, but I doubt both. He said he'll get rid of the cat if I stay, but I doubt that will happpn, and if it does, things will not be as cool as intended. So, I'm moving out.

My weekend.

We, the usual crew, had planned to catch an 11PM cruise ship to Peng Hu Friday night after class. Then we'd rent scooters and a boat and cruise the islands in search of the perfect place to camp. Well, Sanvu, thought that another weekend would be better... did I mention that they have Chinese names for Typhoons such as "Sanvu", meaning "coral" in Chinese. So, since there was a typhoon, the girls didn't feel like being stuck on an island smaller then my old high school gym in a typhoon would be all that fun, so they bailed. The cruise ship also seems to cancel return trips if there is a typhoon, something about rough seas, it's only happened to me 2 of the 4 times I've gone to Peng Hu.

Backup plan: Saturday morning, Kenting, Taiwan's southern beach paradise. Nothing but sea, sand, hotels, and nightlife. Well, Nick and I checked, the whole islands raining and will contunue to do so... something about typhoons bringing low pressure systems = rain?

The OTHER backup plan:
THE NO-ARMY PARTY!!! It's been 4 months since the Police and Army have come to our place for complaints about noise (I have been out of town for the last 3 of them). So, we decided it was worth celebrating, and if they come again, we'll offer them a drink.
Here's how our weekend worked:
Sleep late on Saturday, get up around 2pm and do nothing but veg. Watching tv and playing video games on the couch was cool, there was a super nice crisp breeze form the rain, so it was a nice change from the tropical heat. We then met up at 7pm for Korean BBQ on the 14th floor of SOGO (17 story shopping center). At this BBQ, you can order all you like and BBQ or Hot Pot it right at your table. We ordered beef, chicken, crab, lamb, pork, veggies, clams, scallops, fish, eeel, and a bunch of stuff we are still unsure of. It was great, and everything was soooo fresh. We stuffed ourselves and then proceded to the 24 hour grocery store a few blocks from our place. We bought orange juice and some Russian pride. McDonald's was somehow requested before our warm up. Next, was the poker game. Loser drank a shot of vodka each hand... 1.5 bottles down, 3 to go. We walked the 4 blocks to the KTV and rented a room for 2 hours, we brought our refreshments and they provided the mics and the ice. We had a blast, and were about 10 minutes from being finished at the end of our 2 hours, we had sang just about every English song they had. We were out of Vodka and had long run out of orange juice. Nick wanted to go to McDonald's for ice cream. Paul was weird and wanted to go home, so he did. and the girls and I went with Nick to the end of the block where the McDonald's stood. The drive thru is 24 hours, so, like responsible consumers, we paper, scissors, stoned to decide who gets to drive and who gets to ride shotgun in our "car". We lined up beside the order window, revved our pathetic engine and made horn honking noises, they had no ice cream or beef because it was after 11pm. WHY ON EARTH would McDonald's stay open if they weren't going to serve ice cream or beef?!?!?! Nick got an apple pie and we waited 6 minutes for it (fast food?). I walked home with the girls and Nick followed. Nick was in his own little pie world, walking down the main street (4 lanes each side!) moving from one lane to the next and back in his random saunter home. Taiwan is NOT like home, after 11 o'clock, the streets are DEAD, there are less cars on the main streets as there are in Uncle Greg's lane at 4am. So, the 3 cars just went around him, he had no interst in coming with us, after all, he had an apple pie. It was one of the funniest things I have seen in Taiwan, not a care in the world but an apple pie. We got him into the back alleys where he could bump into things rather than be bumped. He wasn't stumbling, he was just... drifting home. Sunday morning, the girls and I went to the Jade market and then to a cool restaraunt downtown for lunch, they were sold out so we went to Bagal Bagel, a foreigners place, I had Lasagna. Then it POURED rain and we were still downtown. My rain gear was in my bike across the street as it was beautiful when we pulled in. We got home and I went out with one of my co-workers for dinner. She's from a farm near Wakka, Sask, about 150Km from my parents home... small world. We have great talks when we finally have time to get together.

I had to work today, I went to Subway for a HEALTHY lunch (as opposed to McDonald's) and they were out of bread, so off to McDonald's. I also have a peice of paper form the government, telling me to do something (pollution check?) to my Motorbike before September (last year), so I dropped it off at my mechanics before work. I took the mechanic's helper for one hell of a ride on the back of my bike as he dropped me off at school, it was fun. I had parents watching my classes from a little window, so my fun was somewhat limited, but I got a new kid for each class. Umm, we also have an 11am staff meeting tomorrow!!! Aaaack! Damn new teachers! Why do I have to do this? Maybe I suck and I can learn something, or maybe I rock and I'm wasting my time. Dunno, and I'm sure my boss won't tell me so I might as well go.

Goodnight.

Finding my groove

Well, Monday, I did a whole lot of nuttin' at school, Tuesday was similar, Wednesday was possibly productive. Actually, my wednesday evening class was even more nothing. We played games for 45 minutes, took a 20 minute break, then did some work for 20 minutes. It was one of my girl's birthdays and they all had just passed Level 1. So, when you don't feel like doing much, what do you do? Field trip to 7-11 for ice cream!!! So, that's what we did, just as I'm leaving the school, my bos walks in, "Where are you going?" I promptly replied, "for ice cream, of course." He paused for a couple seconds, "have fun." We ate ice cream, sang Happy B and I went home.

Today, I was much more productive, I think I'm back in the groove... all it took was a slap in the face. One of my new students, she's very spunky and afraid of nothing, slapped me in the face today. All of my students have been groomed to talk back and be absolutely fearless... my new student came pre-programmed. We were goofing around in class and I was playing with my students and teasing them (what else is new?) and she plain slapped me in the face and kept on playing, it was just a little play slap, but the mouths on my other seven students dropped and so did hers when she saw the others reactions. No one could believe that someone actually slapped the teacher, neither could the teacher. She said sorry and I said it's fine, I think she felt bad, she was just playing. So, I punished her the same way any proper teacher would, I dangled her headfirst over the garbage can. In the same class, I had to take a piss. I managed to beat two students to the urinals by about 2 seconds. I was at one urinal two students walked in at the same time and SHARED the other urinal. I washed my hands and after they finished up, I told them that urinals are sort of a one-of-a-kind thing. I walked into their class and mentioned it to their teacher (Nick) and he busted a gut and announced the new one-at-a-time bathroom rule.
Who knows... maybe that spurred me back into my groove.

On another subject... I have been on a banana split binge. I went to the foreigner bar, and they were out of bananas, I walked out. The next night, I went to Smokey Joe's, they don't have 'em on the menu but they figured one out.

Banana:$50
One scoop of Haagen Daaz ice cream: $100
Two more scoops: $200
Chocolate, Strawberry, and Pineapple: $100

Total: $450 ($24CAN) for a Haagen Daaz super banana split!



...I walked away.

So, tonight, we were at the night market for Korean BBQ and I decided to get some soft serve from McDonalds (the only place I know of in all of Taiwan). I walked in, they had Sundaes, McFlurries, cones, milk shakes and floats. I looked at the Sundaes, they have Chocolate, Strawberry and Mango each for only $15 (60cents CAN). I saw a split less one banana so I got one of each, to go with extra toppings (by the way, extra stuff never costs extra in Taiwan). Then, it was the mad dash to the 24 hour grocery store for a banana. Wow, the bananas were marked as fresh vegetables, neither claim was true. So, I bought a couple softies for $15 (another 60 cents CAN) and flew home as fast as possible in the 30 degree C heat..

One banana hit the floor in the kitchen, it pretty much exploded on impact, the other one got hacked up and into the bowl. The ice cream was still relatively firm (for soft serve) and it folled the banana into the bowl. I wolfed half of it down until I had McSoup and left the rest for the cats, they wouldn't go near it. Paul and Nick were impressed with my split and how fast soft serve melts in a 34 degree apartment (at home: try eating ice cream while blow drying it). It was good and it satisfied my craving for $60 ($2.40CAN)... it's a good thing I didn't get to it all, 3 Sundaes is alot of ice cream!

Well, this weekend was planned for a boat cruise for 300km to the island of Peng Hu, but the weather bereau had other plans by throwing in 90%rain and a Typhoon just to seal our fate. So, it's off to Kenting? Who knows? The whole island will be gettin wet.

Goodnight, tomorrow is Friday and that's good enough for me.

My 5 step program.

Someone told me that I'm back in Taiwan and not Thailand... I have no idea what they're talking about. So here's my 5 steps for reintegrating myself back into Taiwan.

Well, the first step is denial... this wasn't too difficult while spending Sunday at my apartment. I got to relax and watch vids with my roomates. The food wasn't Thai food and I didn't get much diving in from the comfort of my sofa.

Today, I was forced into the second step, anger. My toe was pretty sore, my thumb is infected and I did something to my elbow, so off to the doctor's. I've never seen a doctor so pissed off. I still had my toe wrapped in electrical tape from where I sheared an eighth of an inch from my baby toe and some form the one next to it, it looked alright. Next, was my thumb, it was infected to beat hell, and battling with Paul last night didn't help it much. Last night was Sunday night, this means we (Paul, Nick, Theresa, Sandra and I) arrange to meet and then go for dinner. After finally assembling at 7:30, we hit the city in search of rumoured restaraunts, because all the ones we know of... suck. Paul on a 150cc Harley wannabe, nick on his 150cc scooter, Sandra (my cousin Theresa's best friend) on Theresa's 50cc gutless wonder scooter and Theresa (my cousin) and I on my 150cc Harley wannabe motorbike (I bought mine first). So, we generally cruise around lost, looking for restaraunts based on our poorly remembered directions from other people's poorly remembered directions. And, based on our leaving time, we often manage to get there as they close. So, we cruise the whole city for a long time. We often goof around and, at a red light, I gently placed my foot on Paul's back fender and gave him a good shove. This, in turn, generates great suprise as Paul finds his stationary motorbike falling over and moving forward. I instantly sense him reaching foo the kill switch on my handlebars as the light is switching to green. If he succeeds in his endeavour, Ii will be forced to restart my bike and get lost in the pack of traffic as they jump the light. My hand fiercely covering the kill switch is subdued as my infected thumb accidentaly gets smashed in the battle and my killswitch is, well... working. I start my bike and peel into the ppck of traffic that I was once in the lead of, my thum is now dripping blood and the 80km/hour wind doesn't help. Luckily, Theresa always carries a M.A.S.H. unit in her backpack, so I am the proud reciever of an "Incredibles" band-aid. It keeps the blood from dripping onto my leg and hopefully off of my khaki shorts. We finally found a "7 star" pasta place. Well, I don't know how rating scales work, but I'll stick with 5 stars from now on, it was alright, but not worth a return visit. So, yeah, I have no idea why my thumb is infected. Diving, driving in the dirty air, fighting, umm.... This doctors visit and work, forced me to remove myself from the numbness of my dwelling. I have been here for a long time and have only realized how dirty this place is twice before. The air positively stinks and when I'm on my bike, I get crap in my eyes. Why can't I stay on that little island?

Well, the third step, depression. Lunch time, I couldn't even begin to guess where a good place to eat was and now, I really miss my diving and my Thai/Indian food. I wound up at Subway for lunch and at the foreigner bar after WORK for some so-so chilli. Yes, Ii had to work today, I actually had fun, but I was limping a bit and my toe wasn't too good by the end of my 8 hours at work.

So, now for the bargaining. Ummm..... I haven't really figured this step out yet... I think it may involve working atleast till the weekend for a trip to Peng Hu. Peng Hu is an island west of Taiwan, it's kind of cool and I can snorkel there... it ain't no Koh Tao. Then I can work until my next holiday in October and go to Thailand again? I'll just keep telling myself that. EVERYONE wanted to be ANYWHERE else but work today, even my boss voiced this opinion. So, it's not just me, even though I had a great day at work.

The last step, acceptance. Good luck on this. I guess I'll have to wait for this one to come back to me. I'm trying really hard to get back to step one, it seems to be the closest option to being in Thailand.

In Taiwan, I live in a fairly happy acceptance most of the time. Often, I will want to not go to work, but that pretty much is it. I love working, I like what I do, I like my kids and all that fluff, I just don't like actually GOING to work. I kind of dread going and I can't figure out why. It's not a new thing. So, who knows, a 5 day work week is just right for me, a 5 day work week and a three day weekend seems to be perfect for me, but the math just doesn't add up very well.

Denial, anger, depression, bargaining and finally, acceptance.


So, now I don't know what to do with my spare time. I am looking for a hobby, I'm thinking of photography and pastel drawing again. I think I'm good at those. Also, Ii will move into my new apartment on the 27th, it's about the same rent as what I pay now but it's 3 bedrooms to myself and two blocks from school and it overlooks the river.

I'm still going to hit the gym on Monday and Wednesday nights and keeps my weekends for trips. Actually it feels like I don't have free time, but I never seem to do anything other than work. Yet, I am at work for no more than 40 hours a week including my prep and lunch time. Hmmm, give it some time, get my apartment settled and build the social life that is good for me. I was up at 6:30am every morning in Koh Tao and I liked it. Maybe if I am on the river, I'll go to the park in the mornings, then nap in the heat, then go to work? Who knows... but I think I have everything I need and everything I want, can't be all that bad. Now, it's time to better myself rather than my environment, maybe plunge back into the Chinese now that I will be free of living in an English enriched apartment. If everyone I talk to speaks English, how the heck am I supposed to learn Chinese, even my students speak pretty good English now, I never get to speak Chinese anymore and my current learning curve shows it (resembles a bird taking off into a window).

Captian Nemo's boring post.

I'm tired and back in Bangkok. I think I did 12 dives since Monday = 3 dives a day! But, not only do I have my Open Water license, but I now have my Advanced Open Water license and my Night Diving, Deep Diving, Cave Diving, Naturalist, Breathing and Buoyancy and Shark Wrestling (kidding) Speciality certificates. The Speciality certificates don't really mean that that is my speciality, but that I have had extra training in that area. So, now I can dive 100 feet underwater in a cave at night while taking pictures of the sharks I have wrestled into submission and manage to conserve my air.

So, this week... I've seen:
Sharks (reef sharks and one Great Reef Shark and some black tipped sharks), a Sea Snake (the little blue and white one, the most poisionous one in the world) for like 6 minutes, barricudas (watching them hunt), jellyfish, bioluminescent fish, blue ringed stingray, white stingray, titan triggerfish!!!, starfish, pufferfish, parrotfish, clownfish, lionfish, eels, sea anenomies, garoupers, wrasps, turtles, coral, angelfish, batfish, boxfish, rabbitfish, cuttlefish, octopus, damselfish, shrimp, and a Rottweiler dog named Killer.
Killer stayed with me the whole week (I didn't know it was a Rottweiler until I looked it up tonight). Everyone I walked past made way for this huge beheamoth monster. He was cool, never made a noise, he just followed me everywhere and waited for me. He was big and black, came upto my waist, and I have a high waist, he was built like a tank and liked to laze around. He slept outside my hut at night, waited on the dock for me when I went diving, laid next to the table where I was eating (I never gave him food and he never tried to take it or try to eat me, so I guess we were cool). No one got in our way either, the Thai guys at the docks were scared of him and would run into a side room as we went down the hall. Who knows, if something that big with teeth wants to hang with me, I ain't gonna tell him no.

Last week: Elephants, crocodiles, monkeys and dogs.

So, Saturday morning, I will fly from Bangkok to Taipei and bus home, I should be home around midnight?

You know the coolest thing about following barricudas? Sometimes they miss and only get half the fish, meaning the other severed half does a slow spiral to the bottom. How cool is that!?!?! On our night dive we had two torches (Flashlights), one on the barricuda, the other on it's prey, as soon as we shone the light on something, he went for it, it's like playing a killer fish arcade game.

Anyways, I should try to keep this mudane and boring, or I'll never sleep. I'll tell t\you about my dives later, maybe I can post my underwater pictures.
P.S. Due to an unfortunate event which shall remain unexplained until I think of a GOOD story, I am now about 2mm shorter. I managed to take about an eighth of an inch (2mm) off the tip of my pinky toe. This means half the nail (nailbed is still intact) and the tip of my toe, so I will get it fixed in Taiwan, I had the guys at the scuba place fix it up last night and it hurts alot. I also have a bandage on the adjacent toe as well as my thumb, which is from a second incedent which will require a MUCH better story. Did I mention I got some sunburn and wearing a wetsuit and 5000Lbs of scuba gear and air tanks sucks when you're not in the water? Heavy hiking backpacks also.

Wow.

No time to post, but it will be along the lines of WOW!!!
My night dive, so much cool, so little time.

Steve Irwin, eat my bubbles!

Well, I signed up for the advanced open water SCUBA course.

Today we will do a navigation dive and a buoyancy and breathing dive, then this evening, we will do a night dive! Wahoo!!! Let's hope he put Duracel in them torches, that could suck.

Mom, don't read this part please! Tomorrow is the big day, we will dive to 30m (100feet) and chase blacktipped sharks and reef sharks, we've also been promised to see the big barricudas!!! Wahoo!!!! We will probably only get 15 minutes to chase sharks as we use more air at 30 meters. And the sharks will be swimming AWAY from us, as to why it's called shark chasing and not swimming like hell.

Ok, Mom, you can read now. Then we do some other dive tomorrow, I can't remember what it is.

This outfit that I'm diving with seems to be pretty good, it's PADI 5 star approved and they seem to actually care that we know what we know what we are doing BEFORE we dive. And lots of practicing the stupid stuff that we don't like to do; like swimming without our masks, taking off our equipment in the water and other dumb stuff.

So, we finish tomorrow (Friday) at 1:00pm, then I hop a boat to Chupei city and then a bus to Bangkok, then a hotel nap for 6 hours, then shopping for an hour, then a taxi to the airport, then a plane to Taipei, then a 5 hour bus to Kaohsiung, then a taxi to my home, then sleep, then unpack, then do nothing (yeah right) on Sunday, then working on Monday a full day because someone decided to take a longer holiday and I said I'd take his night class. Man, why can't I just stay in Thailand on holiday forever?

Meh, nothing lasts forever. I guess I'll see the Taiwan crew soon. Being home would be kind of nice, I miss my motorbike and... and... and... umm... I miss my motorbike.

Colin, off to the slightly deeper blue.

Green bloodded!

Well, I am neither noble nor pesant... I am superhuman!

How do I know this? Well, nobility is blue blooded, commonfolk are red blooded, but me? I am GREEN blooded!!! Figure that one out. I was down at 18 meters (51 feet) under the deep blue and I started to see some green liquid in my mask... yuck, so I took my mask off and wiped my nose, a little more green liquid. Cool, my nose is bleeding just a little, must of popped a vessle under the pressure (3ATM/bars) so that's three times the pressure of sea level. So, then I pulled the bandaid off my thumb to compare (nicked it on something) and it spit out a little stream of green, cool!

I asked why my blood was green once we were back on the boat and my dive master gave me some bullcrap story about the water breaking up the sunlight into a prism or something and after a while, red gets filtered out followed by the other colours the furthur down you go. But I know the truth... I am SUPERMAN!!! Born on the planet Krypton, sent to save the world and frollic in it's splendor!

On this dive we saw 5 reef sharks followed by humdreds of barricudas!!! I got some pictures from my underwater disposable camera and one of the divers took a video, so I might buy that. We did lot's of cool stuff and even though I have gone diving many times before, I now know what I'm doing and why. I can take my mask off at 18 meters, my respirator hose, I can do prettymuch everything. I also tripped out, got some vertigo, wow! What a trip! I was 10 meters down and everything spun right around 360 once, then again a minute later. Everyone around me was fine, but not being able to see the ground or the surface, only blue, kind of throws your senses, everyone was behind me so I had no reference point. I knew what was going on and that it must be vertigo so I didn't freak out.

Another crew was doing rescue training and so there were a bunch of people making an ass out of themselves yelling for help and them people jumping in and pulling or pushing them to the boat. One of them pushed a guy from far away to our boat, one of our dive masters asked him why the heck he is tiring himself out pushing this guy so far, he said that the guy got bit by a trigger fish and had passed out at 10 meters (33 feet) for a minute. They hauled him onto the deck and laid him down. The fish had taken a chunk out of his leg the size of a ciggie butt. They had oxygen on the boat incase he passed out again. He was in a different dive team, but it looked sore.

I'll post more later about my trip. But, I have been on 10 dives this week, some of them down to 19 meters (57 feet?), I have seen sharks, turtles, angelfish, trigger fish, bat fish, garoupers, pirate fish, barricudas, sea urchins, clams, giant clams, eels, snakes, starfish, butterfly fish, and, did I mention SHARKS!!!! It's been cool, but a little tough on the ears, doing a 4 day course in 3 days.

I was asked if I wanted to do my advanced course this week, but that would mean 7 more dives in 2 days right up till my boat left. I don't know, it's also another 7000Baht ($300CAN). I'll decide tonight, it means I can dive to 40 meters (150feet), dive with Nitrogen gas and dive at night. Who knows, I don't know what to do now. I still feel like I'm in the boat, haven't got my land legs yet.

By the way, thanks for posting comments, since I blogged, you don't meed to email me asking about stuff, you just read my blog. So, when you comment, I know you read it and it's nice to know what you think. I'm happy that I started this blog and I hope to stick with it. So, thanks for commenting.
Also, if anyone has any interest in making a blog, it's sooooooo easy. I'm not hinting to anyone, I'm just saying it's easy if anyone wants one.

Well, off to the pub for the official paperwork.

Blowing bubbles.

Well, I took a bus from Bangkok to some city and then a catamaran speedboat to the island of Ko Tao (Turtle island). The cat goes at 50km/hour and is pretty steady in rough water. The waves are a little choppy and the sky is a wee bit cloudy due to the Typhoon approaching Taiwan. The bus sucked the big one, there was no armrest between me and the next guy and whatever, so sleep wasn't that great. Then we took the catamaran, it was cool, but at 7am, I didn't care.
I arrived on the island at 9AM, ditched my backpack in my hut and proceded to the scuba training classroom thingy. I wached a movie on scuba (slightly boring, watching the guy juggle golf balls under water was cool, but why do I need to watch this on my vacation?) and then did some worksheets and stuff. I wanted to do the 4 day course in 3 days, so I had some catching up to do. We went out in the afternoon diving, well not really, we only went to 3 meters (12 feet) but we did a whole lot of excercises. I now know how to swap masks, tanks, hoses, fins, doohickeys, doodads, and stuff under water, swim without my mask, adjust my buoyancy as well as a bunch of rescue techniques. So, it was less fun but I think I know what I'm doing as opposed to other times I have gone diving where the dive master pushes my buttons and reads my needles for me. The whole time we were there, angel fish, bigger than my open hand were swimming all around us.
My $3CAN a night hut consists of a double bed, fan and a cold water only shower with toilet. It is located about 100 meters from the boat and 10 meters from the beach... it's all you really need. Oh, and this island makes the whole vacation commercials on TV look crappy. It's beautiful here.
The island is far different form Bangkok and Chang Mai, the people here are easy going flower children cool people. I had to downgrade my buckle-up sandals to straw woven flip flops just to fit in. Most people don't even bother with shoes as I have yet to find a building or hut that will let you wear your shoues inside. Even the 7-11 asks you to leave them outside. The island is populated by 400 people and it 22km the whole way around... or long, I don't know. The roads in the hamlet are cemented with a layer of dust on top, perfect for walking.
Anyways, I will find it very hard to get on the boat to Bangkok on Friday. I will be spending much more time here in the future.