Chinese finger traps.

Well, Little Joe wouldn't stop locking the door of the classroom, something about that magical button in the centre of the door knob. Not a big deal, sliding windows next to the door and a second door 20 feet away, but annoying, none the less. I gave him sh*t and told him he gets no break today. He locked it as I told him not to, one of those push the button and run out the door sort of things... actually, that was exactly it. So, Lahden, my co-teacher, had a great idea. She held his finger in the window, and I "slammed" the window on his finger. I highly doubt there was any pain whatsoever, but he was quite terrified of the door, hopefully he remembers tomorrow.

"We are Google, resistance is fultile"

Well, what once started as a couple of students who didn't know how to spell the title of their project, Googol (the highest number bracket, million, billion, trillion...googol), is now a huge company.

It gave us a great search engine that changed the net, then came an email service that changed storage limits from 1 megabyte, to 1000 megabytes, even Yahoo and Microsoft had to follow suit. It gave us news that we can customize to better suit our interests. Hell, it even owns this blog!

The main marketing and financial factor of Google, was advertising. More importantly, relavent advertising. If I get an email from a friend about a weekend trip involving remote controled cars, on the side of my web page, will be 5 ads from various places selling remote controlled cars. Yes, it's a privacy issue, the last thing I need is my girlfriend telling me that lastnight's slightly drunken performance wasn't all that bad and then a Viagra ad pops up onto my screen. Google has been really good with privacy though. The US Supreme court subpoenad Googles search info to see how many people were looking for porn, Google refused. After a year, a compromise of only search words were given, but no user information.

Now, they have a scary new idea, using your pc microphone to constantly scan the ambient noise in your home to see what's on tv. If you're watching CSI, maybe your web browser will start advertising for forensics courses at your local university, or if you are watching a cooking channel, Safeway now has a great special on roast beef. You can even buy the same clothes and fashion accesories as the TV star your are watching. Supposidly, the program will filter out the non TV noise before it's sent to Google for analysing what you're watching... good. Maybe the filter screws up when you're arguing with your wife and Viagra ads pop up, followed by divorce lawyer ads and handgun ads. Anyways, in the wrong hands, this is scary. However, I would trust Google, over anyone else. If the NSA/FBI/CIA/??? wanted to get in on this, they could probably just have microsoft put something into Windows. As Windows isn;t open source, meaning the programming code can't bee looked at, no one really knows what Windows is really doing anyways. Microsoft hasn't exactly been a moral pillar in the business environment, bending to the government wouldn't exactly be a new thing for them.

Anyways, I think the idea is great, but in the wrong hands, it would save the NSA a lot of trouble with setting wire taps, if they can just tune in on a microphone in your living room, wouldn't that make their lives easier, they can know EVERYTHING about the criminals, and they don't even need to wait for them to use a phone.

Click on the title of this blog entry to see the article about the new Google idea, read the comments at the bottom of the article's page, some are interesting, many are repetitive.

I want a refund!!!

I oredered cable TV this week. Reg has been wanting it for a while and Candy asks about it, so... guess what? I have cable again, I think it helps my reading as I try to read the subtitles as thye speak way too fast. I can read and keep up with the voice, but not understand, or I can just listen and understand most of it... I can't seem to do both, no matter how I try.

Anyways, I turn the tv on and it's like watching tve on Sept 11th, every channel is showing the bloody rallies, Reg and I wanted to go when we were in Taipei, but the girls were scared.

Keep your eyes open on the Taiwan news. The protests are still going on trying to oust the President of Taiwan for him and his family stealing money. It's been raining straight for more than a week, and the crowds just keep growing. The president's party has set up a protest area, but has maybe 200 people, most wearing party vests. The opposition's protest areas have people as far as the eye can see, "Ren Shan Ren Hai" (Crowded= People mountian, people sea). I think rioting will break out soon.

Kids, flying and mops.

Found on the net
" Supposedly a motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car.

Instead of paying the ticket, he sent the police department a photograph of two $20 bills. Several days later, he received a return envelope from the police. It contained nothing but another photograph — of handcuffs."

Well, kids are nuts, yep, it's decided. In the marning, I teach 3 year olds at a kindergarden. How do you dicipline a 3 year old who barely understands anything you say and 2 seconds after he does it, forgets why he's getting punished? And then says, "Sorry" just to go do it again. Luckily, I have a co-teacher, Lahden. She's their regular teacher, she teaches them Chinese in the afternoon and assists me in the morning with English, she's great. She does all sorts of stuff for me, I try to be independent as to make it easier for her and to help her if I can, but she still helps me. Today we went swimming, I had 18 kids running around naked, under the excuse that they were going to change into swimsuits, the little ones tricked me again. They went to swim class in the schools pool. Some Chinese guy did some warm ups with them, then had them splash each other to get used to the water.

Taiwanese DELIBRATELY take the fun out of things. When Lahden and I took the kids swimming on Tuesday, she took them over to the side of the pool and splashed a little water on them form the hose. But only a little, not enough to wash the dirt and oil from them before swimming, I never said anything to her about her lack of effectiveness. One of the foreigner teachers told me it's to reduce the shock on the kids, if you splash them with water first, then it won't be as stressful on their hearts when they jump into the pool... that sucks, where's the fun in that. I guess my new "Polar Bear Swim Club" isn't going to do all that well in Taiwan. I explained the concept of jumping from a hottub into a hole in the ice to Lahden and she though I was nuts, I am. I told her that Dad and I walk out into the lake when it's still frozen, she doesn't believe me, so pictures are on the way.

Back to throwing three year olds. Thye can't really write yet, so can't dicipline them with writing. Hitting/spanking is what parents do, and good old fashion common sense just isn't in their vocabularies or attention spans. Standing them up and having them put their hands on their heads seems to work alright, mop rides work as a good reward. As Joe (a 25Lb misbehaved, tiny kid who I really like) was putting on his shirt inside out, I helped him straighten it out, he wanted to do up the front buttons himself, I was mopping the floor of the drip puddles and I kept hitting the kids toes. How jumped onto the mop, a rag mop, and I just pulled it slowly, so he's sliding across the room, while doing up his shirt, the other students lined up to be next... nope.

I explained that I wanted to go paragliding tomorrow (parachuting from a mountain and riding thermals) and one student defiantly crossed his arms and shouted, "no!" Apparently, flying is impossible, Lahden tried explaining it and I had a drawing on the board, but Andrew (the kid) knows best. Jaco, please be careful next time you go flying, the rules of flight have apparently been debunked by a 4 year old. Monday, I'm bringing some pictures and video of flying, I'm going to destroy everything this kid believes in.

My Thurday nights at my out of town small country school are still great. The drive is still long and it still rains, but I love it. I am the ONLY foreigner working in the town!!! Anyways, when I pulled up, about 20 kids came running out of the school to see me! They didn't speak English, the school also teaches other things. Well, I had no chance of prep time, but I knew what I was doing anyway, so I teased the kids. The class was great, both classes. I have never seen so much respect for anyone, I showed up to class and they all stood up and bowed, "Good evening Colin Teacher" Ther were REAL bows, not the 'Teacher says I have to do this' bows. Also, I have students who have been taking English for 6 years and speak well, they have NEVER had a foreigner teacher before (Remember, I'm a foreigner in this foreign land). A super school, one of my new students is 34 years old, the other 8 are about 15 years old. The class is mature and well behaved, so it's ok.

I still don't really enjoy my afternoons, but it's not bad, it's turning for the better, they are afraid of me now, maybe because of all the writing... yep, if your finger's not on the book, you can write the whole bloody page, they can barely write, so it's good.

Also, I found the best pork on rice in Taiwan... it's in my morning school, now I know where I'm eating lunch every day... free!

I may switch to my morning school full time and quit my afternoon and evenings, less money, but it's 8:30-4:30 or something. The job doesn't pay badly, not great, but it's easy and I really like it. CAD$2500/month, 3 weeks paid vacation and one month's salary for a bonus, free snacks and lunch. For now, I like spreading out, new people, new things.

Critical Mass and Culture Shock.

Well, Reg thinks I've completely lost it over Candy. Things have been really good this week, Candy's been over a few times for dinner and a movie, things are better than well. Reg had this idea to go to Taipei this weekend, and I decided to go with him, and I'm going to drag Candy along, too... great! I was going to stay here to spend time with her, but she said she'd like to go also.

Last night, I went to DaShu to teach, 30 minutes driving in a downpour with puddles 6 inches deep!!! What a ride. The school was great!

I'm in some Culture Shock... I thought I had been here long enough, but nope, not yet. The students sat perfectly ion their desks and had their hands up to talk. When I told them class was over, they packed up thier crap and sat there... WTF? Anyways, I opened the door and they all stood up, placed thier stools on the desks and then lined up waiting for me to exit first. I was in disbelief, just like out of one of those movies, total respect. They have never had a foreigner teacher before, their English is interesting.

They speak alright, but have no concept of what a verb, noun or adjective is... I guess this makes them Native Speakers, doesn't it?

Houston, we have a "nu-ren"

Well, apparently, I have a girlfriend. Candy kissed me tonight, she came over for a movie. She's pretty shy, has a smoking hot body, and speaks fluent Chinese. She just makes me feel good, and she's kind to almost everyone, she's shy and has nice friends. Also, my Chinese should rocket through the roof as she doesn't speak English. I was a little afraid of dating someone of a different language, but, she's just that wonderful, so it's worth the effort. Also, I speak pretty good Chinese now and I want to be better. On Sunday, we went to the airport, to a cafe, about 100 feet form the center of the runway. Wow, those jets are loud! It was fantastic, you could fire a shotgun and no one would hear it when the jets land and take off. This could never happen in Canada.
Taiwan isn't so lonely anymore.

P.S. "Nu-ren" means "woman"

So long Steve,.

Anyways, I'm sad to learn that Steve Irwin has died, stabbed through the heart by the barb of a stingray while diving, what are the chances? I've always liked what he was trying to do and the way he was doing it, someday, I hope to die the way he did... not by getting impaled by a ray, but by doing something I love. There would be nothing worse than dying of boredom or old age... yes, you may differ on your opinion if you like. If you don;t know, Steve Irwin is the "Crocodile Hunter" from Australia.

On another note, I've been virtually unemployed this last week. Five hours a week ain't much, but it's enought to "get by". Anyways, I decided to fill my schedule this week and started looking for work. My first time in Taiwan was randomly driving door to door stopping at all the English schools I could find and marching in to the manager. The second time, was stopping at the good schools and then getting a hold of the big manager for the chain as well as using existing contacts. Today, I just checked my email, the bulletin board system for Kaohsiung teachers and tomorrow I have 5 interviews. I'm looking at mornings and evenings, all paying more than 700NT/hour (CAN$28/hour) and keeping my weekends free. We'll see how it works out tomorrow, some have slight schedule conflicts, but some schools have arranged to move classes for me. Too bad, someday, I'll have to give this all up.

At my current school, my student's 'behaved' meaning they didn't try to 'pencil joust' the teacher or attempt 'book wrestling' with me. I made a kid cry because he didn't listen. I pretty much took away everything he had, including reward cards, when he told me I was a bad teacher and didn't have any reason to back it up, I told him he couldn't play on the swing set in the park after class, he could play on anything else, just not the swings. Well, he cried and was very sorry. I have him his stuff back, but still no swing set, he didn't think this was a very fun game to play.

However, I'm liking my school a little more, I no longer want to destroy it upon finishing teaching, now, I just want to go home in peace. Soon, I may even not want to go home, but that's a couple weeks away. My bosses love me, so that's good, and the parents wrote nice things in the books, so things are turning. The school has ordered a complete new cirriculum and book list, EXACTLY as I had suggested... to the letter. So, now each parent has kicked in about CAN$150 for the year and well, let's just hope this works, because it's all on my head and I have NEVER claimed to know what I was doing. My boss asked me what I would do, so I told her, I didn't think she would just do it, she should ask more qualified people... guess not. On the good side... there are no differences of opinion, only mine.

Also, I had a talk to my boss today, I told her that even though it's a church, I don't work for free. The church is making good money off these kids, so I should be, too. I told her to figure how much she wants to pay me for my extra time and I'll figure out how much extra time I have, she didn't argue and said she's discuss it with who ever she discusses things with. I got paid today, they forgot some stuff, but I'm sure it was a mistake, she'll have it fixed for Wednesday.

So, now I need to figure out my schedule, I'm keeping weekends off, I'm undecided if I want to work mornings, evenings or both, I already have afternoons with my school, I might try to stablize my times to be the same every day, but...



On a more relaxed note, I love my place. It's like being on vacation after work. My living room is covered with cushions and mats, so I relax on the floor. The balcony window is open and we are high enough that bugs don't come in. The breeze is nice in the 30C weather, and watching the sunsets are kind of nice. I seemed to come back to Earth today, my "spaced outedness" seems to have passed, not completely, which is nice. I really do feel different since I came back from Laos, I really think it did something to me, something good, something permanent... I just feel... I'm not really sure, but life seems to have a different perspective and I feel like I can view life from outside myself.

Lost in space.

Well, sincew I've come back form Laos, I've been in a daze. Have you ever seen "Office Space"? You should go see it, it's a great movie. I've been doing my things and feel like I've been doing nothing, just wandering through life in a daze of contentment.

I've been taking lots of naps and getting up at 10am or earlier, don't know why. I don;t really feel like going to work or really doing anything, but I still go and I'm not bothered by it... sort of.

My work... You read of these Taiwan teacher horror stories that happen to a select few... I'm now a statistic. My new class is 15 kids, all at different levels of Englsih. They have no dicipline, when I tried to read a story, 3 of the kids wanted to see the next page and tried to wrestle the book out of my hands. My boss' advice for dicipline? Pray to God or smack the kids, yes, I work for a Christian church, no, I don't believe in God. The kids speak Chinese in class, jump on the tables, have marker fights, some don't speak English, they hit each other and run away from me when I try to give them shit... oh, and they have no problem saying, "No!" and "Bu yao! (I don't want to)" Oh, yes, I have work cut out for me.

My boss... I'm working for myself, 5 years ago. She phones me an hour before class today to change my schedule. She wants me to create a whole new cirriculum for the school. She's only paying me for 5 hours a week. She has no idea what's going on and she thinks I have been sent by God. Her strategy for life is to pray more. She's a very nice woman and we hit our first bump today.

I got my schedule on Monday, One hour on Mon, Thu and Fri, and two hours on Wednesday. All my hours are between 2:30 and 3:30, except for Wednesday from 2:30-4:30. Today, she phones me an hour before class and asks if I can change to 3:30-4:00 and then take the kids to the park form 5:00-6:00 where thier parents pick them up, sure, today is fine. I got to school and at 4:00, there was no one to take the class, so I guess she meant till 4:30, whatever. Anyways, I found two jobs for the evenings, one os at a school 10 minutes away for Wed, Thu and Friday evenings for 4 hours an evening at a great wage. The other job, is Thursday evening, 20 minutes away for 3 hours, at an unbelieveable wage ($38/hour!!!). Both schools seem very nice, so I'm not sure which one to take. I simply told my boss that I had filled my time outside my schedule at her school and that I can't do both. And, I can't live on her 5 hours, so I gotta find additional work. She understood.

The reason I keep the job? It gives me an ARC and health insurance. This church is what keeps me here, it grants me my citizenship and healthcare. If I have this, my evengs are free to do private classes or cram school work. If I want time off or don't like a particular student or class, I have all the freedom in the world to change. Also, I like the school and hopefully I can get this class turned around, I have talked to the Chinese teacher who I share the class with and she's all for it and has offered to do whatever I say, I think she will do it, too. So, with much patience, and time, I think it's possible. Leaving the school has crossed my mind, but as long as my boss is working with me on this and progress is being made, I'll try to stick it out. The kids have just been let loose for a long time and it's hard to pull that back. Also, my boss hired me on the condition that I can go on vacation for 5 weeks before I start, allowing me to keep my health and citizenship between jobs. Not having this, may mean that I would have had to: Sell 3 motorbikes into someone's name, then back to my own, close and reopen my bank accounts, retake my drivers test, apply for a Taiwan visitor's visa, so much red tape. Glad it worked out.

So, I've been living outside myself, it's kind of nice, just very mellow. This weekend is Kenting I think, I'm trying to see if I can spend some time with Candy or Ady, but I never know what's going on with women. I'm a little lonely but I don't know what direction I should be taking, right now, there are a few women that are just sitting barely outside my grasp, don;t know where I should be reaching at the moment.
Candy is really nice, but is very shy and doesn't speak any English, we went to a movie tonight and then for a walk, it was great. She's nice and is willing to go for walks in the park late at night, which is when I like to get out on the town.
Ady lives by the airport, 35 minutes away and is usually only free on weekends, her English is perfect, not so good for my learning Chinese.
Michelle has been done, but she's grown up alot.
There's also Mei, she's a very cool girl but soo funny to talk to. Her English is very natural, she learned from her boyfriend and then lived in New York for a year at university. Her bf was from Harlem and she lived there, so she talkes like a gangsta and does all the gangster hand movements and stuff, I always crack up, but it's just the way she talks, very funny. And she must have lived DEEP in the hood, because it's strong.
When it rains, it pours.

P.S. I haven't even looked at my photos yet, I have bad karma, I think. My camera broke the day befroe I came home, the lens won't detach. I came home and the next day, my tv quit, my umbrella broke in Laos, my fancy self closing umbrella, and my remote controlled fan broke while I was away, maybe the motor burned out. The TV's fixed, camera's in the shop, fan is in the junk room and the umbrella is still awaiting inspection. On the cool side, Reg and I changed my living room into a Thai style room. We have Thai 'mats' on the floor and lot's of cushions to lean up against, it's now a very relaxed room, lounging around on the floor and comfy as hell. It even looks good and everything matches. Relaxing is good for me.