Hey, very long day.

So, I am home now.

When I left Laos for Vietnam, I wondered if maybe they might lose my bags or put them on the wrong plane...

...I fell asleep on the flight, when I awoke form the landing, I looked out the window and my eyes got wide, very wide. I hoped they had sent my bags on the wrong flight because the name on the airport was, "Phnom Penn, Cambodia!!!" I was in Cambodia?!?!?! My flight was from Laos to Vietnam and then to Taiwan! Anyways, there were 12 other people in the same boat (plane) as I wondering why the hell we were in a country we didn't belong. I guess it was part of the flight, we waited 20 mins and went to Vietnam.

Long story short, 12 hours travel, 4 countries, 3 planes, a tuk-tuk and a bus and I'm home.

I forgot to pay the phone bill before I left and I lost my cell phone card in Vietnam, so when I came home, no phone, no cell, no internet (the house stuff was cut last night but is back up now). The house was really nice, I had kind of run out of time upon leaving and Reg really did it up nicely. Really nice to come home to.

Anyways, I should go do stuff... fun stuff, I'm still on vacation.

Dinner's ready.

Tomorrow, I take a 10am flight from Vientienne to Saigon, and then a 4:00 flight to Taipei, then a bus to home.

It was fun, today I had a massage... mmmm... so good.

Waiting for the weekend.

I was going to go home a day early but the airlines don't know what's going on, so I guess it's Friday morning for me. This morning, I woke up at 6:00AM to go watch the monks gather alms. Pretty cool.

Then I did travel stuff, then I went to pay and the ATM was out of service.

There's only ONE ATM for ALL of Laos!!! Luckily, after my city tour (looking for ATM's) it was back online and I got my money. Then I went to a French Winery and drank a bottle of Chardonnay with a 70 year old land surveyor from New Zealand.

Lot's of fun.

Would one Tuk-tuk driver really matter?

Well, I'm all sorted out.

I arranged tickets, they were full, then a ticket for tomorrow cleared up, I took it, went to the Vietnam embassy and gave them US$25 in Kip (Laos money). They had some funky exchange rate and said it would be US$27 if I used Kip. I informed them that in Laos, US$ is not a legal currency, only Kip, thay said $25 was fine. I left without my visa, called the travel agent, emailed my travel agent in Taiwan, changed my ticket for Friday, to meet up with my Taiwan flight, and so, no more Vietnam for me. I don't get my bloody flag, but I save US$54 on Visas ($27), Airport Taxis(2 x $6), and an exit tax ($15). My Taiwan agent was going to move my ticket for whenever I wanted for free, he replied to my e-mail 20 minutes later... sweet!

Long story short, I hate tickets, taxes and paperwork, did I mention paperwork?
My holiday is set. No more crap, just relaxing and waiting.

Oh yeah, the topic of my post:
I had a tuk-tuk (motorbike taxi wagon thing) drive me around for this, should have been about $2-3, he knew I was pissed about the visa. I gave him $4 and he pulled the "more money" speech, I almost smashed his head into the bars of the Tuk-tuk. I told him that we agreed on $2 and he said yes. I took my $4 back and gave him $2 and he was very apologetic. Grrr...

Now that life's cleared up, time to go relax on the beach (riverbank... but it's a big river! And it's the only river in the world that flows both ways, the Mekong River).

The Travel God Rears It's Ugly Head.

Well, it's time to move again and this cannot be done without a sacrifice to the Travel God. I have asked the god to bestow upon me movement to Saigon (Ho Chi Min).

The divine response is to demand sacrifice of time or money.

3 days bus, or US$200 cash... the cash comes with uncertainty.

So, from here to there is $180, it's booked til Friday, I have a Friday booking and I'm waitlisted for Wednesday and Thursday. Wed or Thur mean I can go shopping in Vietnam, something I didn't do in order to stay light in the saddle. Friday means I only have to wait 90 minutes for my connection, how did that happen?!?!?! Also, Friday means I don't have to pay $25 for my Vietnam visa at the Embassy here... but no shopping, no flag... I wanted a flag.

Anyways, there's a hundred different prices, from $208 down to $28 for a 3 day bus tour to Saigon, no thanks! These aren't nice buses, these are old busses, and if they're full, there's plenty of plastic stools to place in the isles... why can't they just do that for the planes?!?!?!

Next, on the Chopsticks channel: Mong Nguei, Bomb disposal, Cannibals and hitchhiking on the river, Colin's trip beyond civilization! (I just don't feel like writing about it at the moment, but it was great!)

Next time I travel, I'm going to be rich and important, I'll have my own Leerjet and be famous enough to not need a visa for any country... that should just about cover all the bad crap about travelling... that and someone to carry your bags and a hellicopter for the short trips from the airport and around town. "Hey, Jeeves! Fire up the jet, we're leavin' this dump!"

With 20 cents to spare.

Well, I made it back to Vienteinne, home of the famed ATM machine.

Yep, I got off the bus with 20 cents left in my wallet, wahoo!!! I gave it to a driver to take me the 3km to the city and ATM machine. I would have had more, but I went shopping in Luang Prabang for some stuff and bought my little sister a super cool birthday present, yep, I think I really did it this time. By the way, Dad, your present's going to be very late as I haven't found anything yet and things seem to dissapear from the post offices in Laos and Vietnam anyway. I'm going to mail from Taiwan... any requests?

I had the most fantastic adventure in Mong Ngoi (yes, I spell it differently everytime I write it, it keeps it fresh), it may take a couple hours to write about, so maybe I'll wait till I have bored time or it's raining.

I made it.

Well, I cheated death 3 times on that trip, the most fantastic trip I have taken. More later.

I'm in Luang Prabang and tomorrow I will bus to Van Vieng (cause I don't have enough money to fly... ATM is in Vientienne and I only have $30. So, 2 days in Van Vieng, then to Vientienne on Monday night, then Tuesday, fly to Saigon in Vietnam and on Friday, fly to Taiwan and... pbbbbbbbttt!!!

P.S.
Click here,
Follow the Nam On river form Luang Prabang NORTH, to where it comes close to Ban Namback, then go North on the river to where the dotted line is (Provincial Border), thats about where I was.

Lai Chau, in Vietnam, is very close to Sapa, the place I loved.

Gotta go, meeting some people in the LaoLao Garden.

Less than nowhere.

Well, there's a place in northern Laos that is relatively "untouched" by "civilization".

My plan:
Get up early tomorrow and buy some cold water.
Go to the northern bus stop in Luang Prabang
Get on a bus to Nong Khiaw (4 hours north of here)
Get on a boat to Muang Ngoi Neua (2 more hours)
Take pictures, meet the locals, find a place to sleep.
Try to find a boat back to Nong Khiaw and the rest is easy.

So, Muang Ngoi Neua doesn't have power, sewer, phone or water... they don't even have roads due to being completely inaccessable by land. No need to bring my electronics, just my camera and a full battery, water, and a change of clothes. Food? I'm sure they'll have something, if not, if I can fry, kill, peel or boil it... I might just eat it.

I should be back on Thursday night or Friday, I've always come back before... On the plus side, I've felt very safe here in Laos and the police don't have guns, there aren't very many police anyways.

Luang Prabang is the busiest city I've seen in Laos and only has 16,000 people.

Anyways, I'm off to see absolutely nothing, and very excited about it. My stuff will be left at The Cold River Guest House in Luang Prabang... a very nice place.

I left Van Vieng for Luang Prabang this morning, dropped my "laundry" at the guest house. I have only 2 shirts, a muscle shirt, one pair pants, one pair shorts, my swim suit and some socks and undies. So, unless I am swimming for the day, all I can wash is underwear, one pair of bottoms and two tops. LOL, 5 weeks, 2 changes of clothes. Something happened to my muscle shirt, I took my camera tubing... yeah, I know it's stupid. Why would I buy a super camera and then be too afraid to use it, I have learned this from many bags of saved Halloween candy, after 3 years, the soft caramel, just isn't as soft. So, I try to live more and save less... I'm sure you've done it with the chocolate cake in the fridge... saving it until you really want it, then it shows mold... all for not.

Well, Vieng Vang must be the most relaxing place I've been, I didn't even want to do anything. I just sat on the tatami mat and chilled out with the other guests all day. Eating sticky rice, fruit, shakes, beer and cigarettes, listening to soft music, from sun up to sun down.

I'm not the person to go to a place and not see things... but wow, it was a good week.

I still don't know where I'll be in two days. Tomorrow I want to see a big waterfall, but this "city" doesn't really grab me (second biggest city in Laos and pop 16,000, same as N.B.). But, I found the most amazing tomato soup here, like spaghetti sauce, it was soo good.

This morning, the power went out in Vang Vienne, then when I got here, the power went out for 4 hours. The 180km bus ride took 6 hours, it was like the road to Cut Knife along Table Mountain, just going up, up, up, for 4 hours, then down for 2... no, I'm not joking, it took 6 hours. The highway is single lane (no, I didn't say one lane for each way, just one lane), no lines, nothing, usually ashfalt (sp?), but lots of gravel. We saw three fresh landslides on the way here, I hope the road stays open.

I'm debating going north, to the Knokkersout or Mellonsbare hill tribe, where they don't cover thier breasts... or, go back to my sundeck by the river... or, go south to southern Laos (a good place to put it)... or, got to Vietnam for a few days before flying.

I really just want to pack my small backpack and rent a bike for going north on my own... I think an ox would be a better choice but I don't know. No, I'm not joking.

Yep, I like to ramble, not really in any order. But, to be honest, I don't know the date, maybe the 10th to the 17th? No concept of time, I had to find my phone last night, just so I could set my alarm for the bus this morning, no problem. I was up at 6:00am on the deck, watching the sunrise, then I just did nothing in the hammock, until 9:00 when I had to leave. Then a baby monkey came and climbed up my pant leg, then onto my shoulder and wouldn't get off. It just grabbed my shirt everytime I tried to remove it. So, I had a monkey friend from about 7am till 9:30 am. Everyone else had decided that today was the time to go, so we were all up early. The monkey would go to someone else and then come running back to me when they reached out. Rabies for breakfast, anyone? I guess it belonged to the woman next door, cute monkey, likes getting tossed around, and I got him to sit in my shirt pocket.

Laost in IndoChina.

Wow, has it been that long? I've found a very special place... Van Vieng (spell?), just north of Vintienne (sp?) in Laos. I've rented a room on stilts, but I spend most of my time in the deck above the trees alongside the river looking into the mountains. Yep, lounging on tatami mats and Thai axe pillows, or maybe relaxing in the hammok while people bring me drinks and mango over sticky rice, covered in coconut milk. I cannot believe how cheap it is here, and how wonderful it is to do nothing...

I've spent my time swimming in lagoons, rivers and caves, sunning myself on the deck, reading, tubing over the rapids and throwing myself off rope swings, zip lines and just plain jumping off of cliffs and trees. I have to say, tubing over the rapids with an ice cold beer in your hands, feels pretty damn good... especially when one of the Isreali girls you were with, parks her tube in the trees and has to swim the rapids to your tube. She got caught in a tree and I was the only one in our group to manage to grab onto a tree to stop from going down the river. Hence, she had a 100m swim down the river to my tube. Hers got reall caught up in a tree and thorny bushes. Anyways, as reward for my bravery, I had a very cute beer holder on my lap, sharing my beer with me as we floated down the river... I think she set it up... yeah.

Anyways, I think I might leave this place tomorrow morning and go to Luang Prabang, the former capital. The town I'm in is half the size of Cut Knife and doesn't have any pavement. Anyways, I think I'll find my way back here, but I want to get to Luang Prabang, then north into the hill tribes, rent a bike because there's no transportation. MAybe just do what the locals do and rent a water buffalo.

P.S. I have checked my email, am I missing soemthing?

P.P.S. I might be "off the grid" for a week or so, I'm barely in civilization as it is. I'll try to post if I can, my flight out of Saigon is for the 25th, I should post by the 23rd, hopefully I'll be flying from Vientienne (Laos) to Saigon (Ho Chi Min City, Vietnam) on the 23rd, because I don't like the bus... 30 hours on a bus? Yuck!

P.P.P.S. Is there really a P.P.P.S.?

Laosing around.

Well, I think I'll be in Van Vieng for a little while, I'm in a guesthouse for $2.50 a night. A beautiful place, I can jump off of my balcony, right into the river.

I spent yasterday tubing on the river from cliff swing to high jump bar. Yep, tubing, every two hundred meters, there's a bar scratched into the cliff with some guy standing on a rock dancing and shouting, "BeerLao, BeerLao!!" and offering you a bamboo pole to help guide you to shore. Slide your way up the clay beach and grab a beer, then grab the zip line and splash into the river and swim back to shore. Yep, jumping from high cliffs, hanging form zip lines and swinging from rope swings is how I spent 7 hours yesterday. That, and floating down a river on a tube.

Today, I woke at 7am and watched the sunrise over the river and mountains from my beach hammok on the deck. Then, I was served breakfast, ham and tuna sandwich, strawberry shake and coconut milk served over hot stickyrice... mmmm. Then relaxed with the other guests in hammoks and Thai pillows on the deck... till 2pm. Never got to tubing, so we (some Spaniards and Israelis) rented some motorbikes and went cave stomping and swimming in this fantasticaly green swimming hole. There were rope swings and trees to dive from, they said it's 7m deep, it could be. There were fish swimming around our feet and there was lots of fun.

Dinner on Thai mats and cushions and a selection of DVD's. So, we munched, talked, drank and ate. Well, back to the guesthouse (it's on stilts, above the trees) for some reading in the hammok (Zen, and the art of motorcycle repair.) Then to bed, and up to cruise the bikes once again in the morning.

Oh yeah, you know the highway needs repairs when two water buffalo (or is it water bison?) are bathing in the potholes. Our driver had to actually get out of the bus to get them to move. Oh yeah, I took the public bus... US$2 to go for 3 hours for 190km. Old bus, windows down, bikes, scooters, sacks of food, all strapped onto the top of the bus. With the bus twice it's height, it piles onto the "highway", identical to the one between "Country Roads" and Grandma's house. An interesting, I sat at the back, it's safer. I watched the driver from the big mirror, he seemed to be pretty opn top of things. A neat ride, from the flay plains into steep mountains in 20 minutes.

Anyways, having fun, luv ya!

Ok,

Ok, so I have found the ONLY ATM machine in Laos, the maximum amount is $50/day, the biggest bill in Laos is $10,000 = US$1... I have a fat wallet.

I figure $100 should be enough for all my trip.

Also, the native women don't wear tops... so, I'm going north to where there's more natives... maybe tomorrow morning, to Vin Viang (3.5 hours) for some relaxation and then to Luang Prabang, the old capital (8 more hours).

Getting the fokker out of there.

Well, I'm in Laos.

Last night, I was planning what to do tomorrow, decided that there was nothing I wanted to do in Hanoi and Sapa was not really a good option. So, I decided to go to Laos. The bus was 23 hours and US$18, or the plane was US$110, I bought a ticket... I hate the bus.

Internet shop's closing, so here's an excerpt from an email to Reg:


"I'm (screwed)... sort of. I'm in Laos now... I have US$200 in my wallet, it's gotta lest me until the 24th and get me the hell out of here to Vietnam, requiring $25 of that for a visa for Vietnam. So, that's $175 for 20 days plus I need to find transportation to get to Saigon again.

Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but Laos is not very developed and there is not one bloody ATM machine in the whole bloody country!!! Other than that, it's a nice place. I'm in the capital, Vientiane, POP 133,000, and it's a national capital? It's got less traffic than Cut Knife, on it's dirt roads.

I should be able to do well on the cash at hand, my hotel is $1/night and beer is 30 cents for 1.5L, my all you can eat BBQ tonight was $2.50... how do they do it? Lunch was $1, including drinks.

My total, $4.50/ day and living well. Plus some transportation. Tomorrow, I will go in search of an ATM in the new hotels, if not, I think I have some ideas but everyone says that what I have is good for 4 weeks, easily, but then I can't fly home, gotta do the bus to Saigon."

I had read in Lonely planet that there are no ATM's here, so I looked for US cash at 11pm on Sunday, the Vietnam ATM's dispense only Viet Dong money. The cash exchange places wanted a high cut, so I went without.

Anyways, more to update later.
I'm at Sabaidy Guest House, 856-21 213929 Rm 302. $1/night = no phone, so just letting you know where I am.

Sapalicious!

Well, do to knowing jack squat, I'm leaving Sapa, a tiny little oasis of tourist hotels and internet cafes, set in a colonial French town in the aboriginal hills, full of hill tribes. Wow, what a fantastic place, all the buildings are a hundred years old or something, built by the French and then the french were tossed out by Ho Chi Min or someone. A really cool place. My hotel is like a Chateau, stone walls, and a fantastic vew of terraced mountains, the steepest mountains I have seen.

Anyways, I didn't want to leave here, but my train ticket is for tonight. I can't change it, and if I burn it, the train is booked until Tuesday night, which may wreck my plans for Laos. Also, I met and spent the day with a fantastic girl from my hotel. She rented a bike for me and then when I went to visit the waterfall, she was there with her mother. We had just a fantastic time, her mother got tired, so we went off raoding on my bike into the hills and visited some hill tribes, drove thru some rivers and great stuff. My bus is here, gotta go.

Slip slidin' delay!

Well, I made it to Sapa. I took a night train, it was a bullet train!!! Well... the picture was of a bullet train, the actual train was a junky think like shown in Indai with all the people on the roof. Yes, there were people on the roof and stuff, but I had a bunk in a room for four. It was comfy.

There was a landslide on the way, so I spent 4.5 hours on the side of a cliff watching the rice grow as they brought in equipment to clear it all away. Sliding in a minibus is fun!

Anyways, I feel like I'm on the moon or something. The mountains are the steepest I have ever seen and they have terraced them to grow rice. Anyways, I want to get out and do some biking, motorbiking, that is. The tour said about 6 hour walking a day, I did lots of that at HaLong bay, so I'd prefer to whiz by them on a motorbike... laughing at the suckers... have I said that? I still can't read ANY blogger site, so I don't know what I have written. Comments automatically go to my email, so please leave one.

Colin.

A Junky trip.

Well, I've just spent the better part of the past 3 days on a Chinese (Vietnamese) Junk. A Junk is one of those old Pirate looking ships that have the funky orange, yellow or red sails. It was pretty cool, slept below deck in a little cabin, had a shower on a moving boat, that was interesting as he was navigationg around the islands. I went into a huge cave, went swimming, did a 6 hour kayak tour through caves, visited a fish farm, we even managed to punch a hole into the dining room of another ship when we were sailing, right through the wooden wall and the glass. "Arrrhhh, Matie! Off the gang plank wit' ya!" We also did a 3 hour up and two hour down hike through the jungle to the top of one of the islands, it looked like the tops of the other 2 islands we had gone to the top of during our trip (The cave top, and the observatory at the beach) but this one involved hacking through the brush for hours, what a waste of my efforts. My forearms were killing me last night, like growing pains times eight billion, right where you'd hit a volleyball on the hairless side of my forearms, really strange. Got some sun and some burn this morning, was sitting on the bow of the boat, on the anchor hoist and didn't use sunblock... not too bad though, just my knees. One night was spent on an island, I was to share a hotel room with an Israeli guy (or pay $5 for my own), but there was no doorknob for the bathroom, just a hole. Do I really need an audience while I do my thing or take a shower? Do I really need to litsen to his "Tuba Symphony" while he's on the porcelin stage? I think not. I sorted it out and got us a new room, all parties were more pleased.

Tonight, I'm sleeping on a train, on the way to Sapa. Sapa is a tiny village, once untouched by civilization, until this one guy told one friend... and he told a friend... he told a friend, who built a hotel... who told a friend, who hired a bus... who told a tour guide. Anyways, I'm going to a tourist trap! However, the 3 day tour involves about 20-30kms WALKING a day. So, what's a smart tourist to do?

Well, I bought a trian ticket and a bus ticket to get me there, then I'm going to rent a motorbike and mow down all the stupid little trekkers! They'll see nothing but my tailpipe as I leave them in my dust. I'm not going to pay money to sweat it out in the hot sun, following some silly tour guide who doesn't speak English and expects a tip, only to view the villages in a crowd of trekking sheep! Sheep, I tell you, I hate tours! Carve life out for yourself, it just tastes better.

My plan, in short:

Wednesday: Overnight train to Sapa tonight
Thursday: Mow down the silly people as they walk between the rice paddys.(ies?)
Friday: Clean off the tourist maps and body parts from the bike and take a train back to Hanoi in the evening. Pick up my passport at my tour booking place.
Saturday: explore Hanoi
Sunday: Think about heading to Laos.
Get back to Saigon before the 25th to go to Taiwan.