For granted.

Ok, a quick update. And thanks for posting a comment Jennifer, my readership has now officially DOUBLED regarding the 200% increase in feedback! I now have a total readership of two people!

Ok, so one thing that I think of when I'm at a restaraunt in Thailand. I have a brother and sister in one of my young classes, they are 5 and 6 years old. For this break time, thier family is going to the Japanese Disney Land! I was asking them what excited them the most about that and you know what they told me...?
It's not Disney Land, Mickey Mouse, meeting ninjas, Sumo wrestling, the robotics stuff, the computers, all the amazing Japanese stuff... nope.
The absoulte ONE thing that they are so excited to see and do is....

....drink water straight from the faucet...

..."WHAT?!?!?! Are you crazy?!?!?!"
"No, teacher, really, you can drink right from the tap and not get sick... ANY tap!"

It's truly amazing what we take for granted, I can think of about a millioin things for a 5 year old to get excited about going to Japan, but this would not have been one of them. I don't really mind drinking bottled water or the water from my purifier, it's cheap and easy to get, but I've always taken it fro granted at home.

The funniest part was that the other kids were really excited about them going to Japan and seeing Mickey and all that stuff... until little Johnny mentioned about the water; thier Mickey excitement dropped like a bag of hammers only to be repaced byt this crazy notion of drinking from the tap, like aliens had given some futuristec powers to the Japanese. So, after them asking me if it could possible be true, I told them it's the same in Canada. Then all we could talk about for the next 20 minutes was tap water, there's a topic EVERY 5 year old dreams of discussing. So, next one who comes to visit, is required to bring a bottle of TAP water for me to drink as the students wait for me to keel over, if I survive, they'll probably demand to taste this foreign substance.

Well, now that the important stuff is over, I'm still going on my SCUBA course tonight for 4 days. I'm excited.

Oh yeah, I told you that I drove a tuk-tuk in Chang Mai, well... in Bangkok, they have motorcycle taxis. All they are is a man in an orange vest with a motorbike. I had to try it, I wanted to go for a ride to the reclining Bhudda temple, it would have cost me $2.50CAN in a cab since I was on the opposite end of the city. The motorbike taxi wanted $4 and I told him he's nuts. Long story short, for what should have been a $2 ride, I paid $4, one one condition... ...the crazy foreigner gets to drive the bike, hahaha 800ccs of power! After I showed him I had enough money in my wallet to do some major patchwork on his bike, he asked me if I knew where it was or how to get there... I promptly replied, "No, that's why you're on the bike." So, he pointed down the main street freeway looking thing and said to go that way... we were on the wrong side. So, after 5 minutes of weaving through oncoming busses, taxis and motorbikes, we found an opening to get onto the left side of the street (that's the way it's supposed to be). It was fun, we did some dumb stuf that made him grab on sometimes as he yelled at me in Thai and bad English where to go, so funny. He was letting some foreign guy drive his taxi with him on the back through a city famous for traffic carnage and mayhem, I was dodging tuk-tuks and everything but we made good time. He waited for me at the temple (Wat Po) and then I had him drive me to the boat pier. I took a boat taxi home (cause boats are the fastest way to get around in Bangkok... less traffic) and moved my stuff to the tour place.

Anyways, time to go.
Ummm.... I don't know what else to say.

Wow... topics to come.

TOPICS TO COME:

Well, I went to the strip bar, I'd guess about 25% aren't that ladylike (we can play a gave with the pictures), it's a good thing I went with a Thai girl to help me out.

I am at an internet cafe as a trannie has webcam sex with some guy in Canada, her tits look real... "she" almost looks real.

Ummm, let's just say that that little silly song about one night in Bangkok has some truth to it. I'm not so humble as... "cultured"?

I think I have figured it out... girls under 5 feet tall are safe.

I saw Thai boxing tonight, wow, super cool.

Also, Jam and I took a dinner riverboat cruise last week, don't know if I mentioned that.

And, I hired a Tuk-tuk for the afternoon (5 hours) to drive me across the city to various places at insane speeds between insanely small places and wait for me at each stop for 40Baht ($1.60CAN) figure that one out.
This was arranged for me by the manager of the Grand Palace (Kings castle) in Bangkok.

Also, on the more positive side of things, I met the "Pope"... well the Grandmaster of Bhuddism for Thailand and we talked for a while, there was some big ceremony today, and I happened to be the chosen one to meet him. Whatever, maybe I was the "token white guy", but I met him before the ceremony as he was making his way from wherever to the ceremony temple and there weren't any spectators around, just a bunch of young Bhuddist helpers. ...So, I guess I'm pretty enlightened.

Well, back to my vacation.

Oh, I'm going to Ko Tao island, NW of Koh Samui for a 5 day SCUBA PADI diving course, so I guess I'll be certified and have lots of cool experiences. Haha, suckers, everyone else takes thier certifications in swimming pools, mine is in the tropical reefs of Thailand! So, I'm hyped... I don't want to spend my time in a course, but on my off timke, I can snorkel there also.

My cell should still work.

(Thai area code, I don't know) + (0) 5- 107-0271

As for my Taiwan number... due to unforseen billing problems, I have temprairly deactivated it until I get home to pay for my bill. I left before I got it and it's probably cut now, the cool thing is there is no penalty or rehookup fee, but I was getting killed for using it here, so I bought a new number for $6CAN in Thailand.

I'll be missing you guys... maybe... well, maybe when I am back at work.

See ya!

New Contest Winner!!!!

Congratulations Theressa!!! YOU are the number Oneth person to post a comment!!! Now I know that my efforts are not in vain and that at least ONE person, that's right, ONE WHOLE PERSON, reads my blog!!!

Now, Theressa lives close to me and sees me at work, so she doesn't really count, this blog is not meant for her. Post a comment please, I put effort into this dammit!

P.S. It's easy.

Never, ever, EVER!

Well, I went to the infamous Patpong district tonight (Red Light) with Jam. Wow! Just like Disney Land and the Las Vegas strip moulded into one big Pay Per View orgy. We drove through the strip thismorning and it was a ghost town. But tonight, it was alive... infact we almost missed it, the taxi stopped at a night market and I was like, "No, Patpong, please." He said it was it and if it wasn't for the Patpong streetsign sticking out from behind the guy selling "Rolex" watches, I would have jumped into another cab.

So, we walked down the strip with people wanting us to buy thier "designer" goods and others telling us that thier bar has the best show in town with the sexiest ladies... and men (YUCK). So, we went into "Super Pussy" where some of the girls were cute, but some had seen better days. The man outside told us, "No cover! Beer, $100 ($4Can) best show!" We followed him in, then the hostesses explained to us that beer was $100 and the show was $300 each. I said the man said it was free. The girls said he was mistaken and wanted $300 so, I went to leave. Just my luck, there was "the man", I told him and he said, no problem and then the girls ran away, I brought the man to the girls and told them to sort this crap out and then gave the girls trouble and stuff for trying to rob me. They sat me in a stool beside the bar close to the "dancers" (I think they were moving a little) and gave me my $100 beer and Jam a $100 Coke. They started massaging my back and due to unforseen future charges, I told them to piss off before anything got going. Jam decided a massage would be a good thing. Within 2 minutes, she had 3 girls massaging her all over and playing with her hair... good for her... wait! Make that TWO girls and a tall girl with strong hands. Well, finally the tall one spoke... yep, HE was very nice and in any other country, I wouldn't have givin this bra and panty clad figure another look other than "her" tallness (not even an apple). So, they said they were thirsty and wanted a drink. I was holding Jam's cash for her. She wanted to buy them thier $100 Cokes so I forked it over. They continued to massage from head to toe for another 45 minutes. Then they asked for a $100 tip. I asked them what was taking thier Cokes so long, Jam laughed. They said that they would drink them after so we invited them to sit with us and have thier Cokes. They said that the Cokes would make them fat and that they don't drink Coke. Then they asked for a tip, please. I asked for my Coke money back as there was no Coke being served.
Anyways, enough of the business stuff, on with the show!

I saw a girl light and smoke 2 cigarrttes with her "lips" in 3 minutes flat... can this kind of smoking lead to a higher incidence of ovarian cancer? Lower lung cancer? Then, throughout the show came a string of razor blades, flowers, ribbon, etc.... I got to see a girl jam a bottle of water, and lie on her back to empty it, she replaced the bottle with a new one and filled it full of Coke... maybe that's where the girls' Coke went. After more "dancing" she used a pair of chopsticks to pickup a dozen rings off the floor and place them over the neck of a bottle... hands free ofcourse. She blew a horn and opened 4 beer as one of the caps flew the 20 feet and nailed me in the arm.

Well, it was interesting, and I will NEVER EVER get drunk in Thailand, so many Ladyboyz, so little innocence left. I decided this after about two sips of my first and only beer. When they have to speak for me to tell the difference... THAT is a scary thing.

My joke of the day? In Bangkok, they have metered cabs, so it makes negotiating much easier, they're also dirt cheap. We went to the night market at rush hour and it cost us $50Baht ($2CAN) , we decided to go back to the hotel and dump off our shopping. I asked a Tuk-tuk (motorcycle rickshaw) how much and he told me the return trip (NOT at rush hour) would cost me a cool $200Baht. I told him he was completely insane, he stopped dead for about 2 seconds... "Just joking! Hahaha! Ok, $150 Baht!" I jumped and said "Ok!", so he ran like hell for his Tuk-tuk and brought it around for my "3 times the price at 1/3 the comfort" ride across the city. He pulled up alongside and I said "Just joking! Hahaha!" and walked over to the metered taxis. He seemed a little pissed and I told him that he should not be trying to rob people, he appologised and offered me the $50 Baht price and I still went with the taxi. In Chang Mai, the Tuk-tuks were about 1/2 the price of the taxis.

So, due to ladyboys, my trip planner (me) has cancelled any events engaging in drunkeness (not that any were planned in the first place, but this pretty much seals it).

Tomorrow night, I may return to this cestpool of filth for the mud wrestling, "PingPong show (what in the world could that be?), and some Thai KickBoxing. Tonight cost me $100Baht ($4CAN) and has made those "Caught on tape" shows seem pretty dull. Maybe tomorrow, I will up the Ante to a cool $10CAN and REALLY go nuts!

I think for the daytime, I will go see the palace and a river tour, maybe even the floating market and the reclining Bhudda

Indiana Jones and the city of humble

Well, I figured that I had seen everything to see in Chang Mai, so we decided to go to Bangkok (yes, JAm's still travellking with me... going fairly well). Jam thought it would be a great way to save money and a hotel room if we took the 15 hour night train.
So, we managed to book the train and rented a motorbike to cruise the city. We went to a great Thai restaraunt and had some Thai and Indian food. Then we hopped a Tuk-tuk to the hotel to pick up our bags, then to my tailor to pick up my new suit and then to the train station. We had no time and traffic was slow. We made it to the train and to our sleeper car. I was told that food and stuff was expensive and crappy so we had taken some extra Indian/Thai food from the restaraunt. I wanted something to drink for the 15 hour ride ao I asked one of the conductors how much time I had, "Three minutes," he said. I ran to the little snack shop along the platform and grabbed some beer, Coke and water. The announcement said something like, "Akbarabtdu pnohm pelophin narkachu...," so I figured I should hurry up. I paid the lady and as she was handing me my change, I heard this strange noise...
(insert Indiana Jones theme music here... Da de da daaaa, da de daaah...)
... the train was moving with all my stuff on it, but not me! I ran like hell and yelled at one of the conductors on the last car who was standing in the doorway. His eyes widened and the train went faster and faster. I ran alongside the very last car and jumped into the opening at the last minute. One hand hanging on the outside pole and the other clutching my bag o' beer with the conductor's hand grabbing my shoulder. Managed to get my footing and climbed inside. After touring the 11 cars before I got to mine I sat down and caught my breath.
I cracked my beer and she asked if I had gotten anything for her... nope, I asked her and she said nothing. She was unaware that I meant for the whole trip, duh, 15 hours. Anyways, I did grab her a bottle of water anyway.
I was on the top bunk and it is 6 feet long, I am 6'3". The train was noisy and stuff and the lights were left on all night... guess who loosened a bunch of the fluorescent bulbs? I don't know either. So, we managed to get to Bangkok and I had a crappy sleep, but whatever. Anyways, off to see the city, tell you about it later.

Leave me comments!

Taiwan seems like the sanest place on Earth.

Well, I'm in Thailand...

It's the coolest place on Earth! It also makes Taiwan seem very sane. Here, they drive on the left, but EVERYTHING drives. They have Tuk-tuks 3 wheeled motorcycle carriges from hell), and modified pickup trucks, like a bus, but a pickup truck, and yes, scooters. Well, I drove with this Tuk-tuk driver for an hour today ($3CAN) and it was cool, but I told him he looked tired and so it was my turn to drive. I showed him that I had enough money in my wallet to buy him a new Tuk-tuk or two and he said ok. So I drove like a madman and he sat in the back screaming directions to me (cause I don't know where I'm goin'). He was having the time of his life as I was doing wheelies in his Tuk and on the other hand, his stomach was in his throat as his life flashed... especially when I accidentaly lifted a wheel around a corner... I slowed down a little for the corners but the wheelies still kept coming. So, we got to the camera shop to buy a new mini tripod to replace my dysfunctional one and I asked him for $100 Baht ($4CAN) for the ride, he laughed and I gave him $650Baht total ($25CAN) a little more than a days pay (500Baht) and couldn't find what I wanted. So, HE drove me home as my deathwish had subsided along with his.
Well, many more tales to come, but I'm on hollidays, so maybe later. Bangkok and the island coming soon... Maybe I'll go tomorrow.

Colin.

I was going alone, but it happened that Jam wanted to come along, to see Thailand and not me. I told her this was MY vacation and I am doing what I want and that's it, so no promises... of ANYTHING. So, we arrived Saturday late night and it's now Tuesday night and we are still sharing a hotel in Chang Mai (Northern Thailand). We did our own things today and it was great.

Yesterday, we went on a drive through northern Thailand in the back of a pickup truck, then an hour and a half on the back of an elephant through an amaxing rainforrest and along a river. I think our elephant had better plans when he awoke this morning, he seemed to like pulling trees out of the ground and hitting himself on the head with them (maybe to swat the insects/rider) so, I took it upon myself to take the tree and hit him on the head lightly, he seemed content when I just left the branch on his head... I know what NOT to fight with, especially the kind that thinks uprooting trees is a hobby. We got off our deathdefying ridge riding hill climbing 10 ton killing machine and proceded into rubber rafts.
It had been raining for two days and the river had flooded it's banks, the water was crazy! So, on with the crash helmits and life jackets. We were told we had to stop and travoise one part that was too dangerous. Well... we missed and went over a small waterfall. We all managed to stay in the boat, a little while later, we grabbed air a second time and I caught the girl behind me as she decided she wanted a last minute swim, she brought a waterproof camera and I think she got some good pictured of me trying to paddle and land back in the boat at the same time, we changed clothes and hopped back into the box from hell (pickup truck box with no suspension). So, we bumped for an hour and wound up at some temple Bhuddist cave dwelling thing, it was cool. The old parts were overgrown with vines and trees and had parts broken off, like the Aztec's place. We had lunch and drove to visit the Long Neck Hill Tribe (The ones with the 2 brass ring looking things wrapped around thier necks and limbs), they were cool, and the scenery was great. Apparently, they wear the rings to fend off tigers, and they are from Burma and they have no citizenship in Thailand and are illegal aliens but the authorities lookthe other way. They were sitting in thier huts making silk blanket things. We made the long journey home, it was great.
We got home the see CNN (in Thai) mumbling stuff and showing computer graphics of shockwaves from an earthquake. Yes, a Tsumani warning and pictures of Thais and Tourists running like hell and air raid sirens went off. Apparently, the government overreacted as nothing happened, but after Dec 26th, I don't blame them (I was inland, no where near the coast), people running and screaming in your country and every channle focussed on it is scary when you don't understand a word.
I bought a suit this week, a very nice suit, made of satin I guess, to stay cool in the heat. Whatever works, it's SUPER nice.

Thaird of work.

Well, I'm Thaird of working non stop. Guess what... it's summer vacation for us! So, I am going to Thailand. I also have found a new appartment that I like and can afford, some privacy would be nice.
I checked my bank balance, it seems I can do anything I want in Thailand and not have to worry about being able to afford it. I don't quite understand where all the money came form or how it got there exactly, but it seems that I must have worked for it and not spent it. I guess if you don't pay attention to things, they add up (I never knew this worked for money too!!! I should have stopped looking when I was seven). So, I have been needing a break for a month or so, and here it is.
My plans for Thailand:
Land in Bangkok, putt around Thailand including a 2 day river rafting trip at Chang Mai (Northern) and visiting the Longneck Hill Tribes. Then I will putt around more, maybe hit a beach or two, then spend some time in Bangkok shopping and then return home.
...let's see what happens.
I'm also trying to pack super light cause I'll have all my crap in a backpack and I want to be able to take a bunch of stuff home. I'm doing well, but for my diving gear.

Wish me luck!

Weekly discount, 40% off your workweek.

Well, I now have a 3 day work week this week. Monday and Tuesday were deemed Typhoon days. I got paid $40/day (CAN) to NOT come to work... pretty cool in my books. So, Wednesday is over and two more days to go... WAHOO! Then it's off to Thailand for two weeks. I've never been to Thailand, and everyone tells me it's heaven on earth for them and are so suprised that I've never been. So, I'm excited.

I went to Overtime with my friend Jam for the burger special, it was pretty good. Then we got caught in the rain on the way home... by the way, I learned how to drive a motorcycle while holding an umbrella, Jam was following me and said "What a dork", mind you, I am a dry dork. I don't think you can quite understand RAIN till you've been to Taiwan.
Well, I now have 2 days before Thailand and still haven't decided where to go, I will land in

Bangkok and leave from there 2 weeks after. I want to see the longneck tribe close to Chang Mai. So, I will head north first because I am told once you hit the beach, you seem to stay there, better save that for last.

Also, I hope to do lots of shopping, mostly for DVD's and silk stuff, and other stuff, and...
Well, bedtime for me, I want to get up in the mornings now, so maybe I'll aim a little closer for a midnight bedtime.

Goodnight.

May I help you, Sir?

So, it's pissing rain, I went to look at a new place to live downtown. I didn't take it cause it was too far. I'm driving my motorbike in the worst rain I have seen, and as I started off at 9pm, my roomate said it was only raining a little. Well, after driving around town on my MOTORBIKE in the pouring rain, I decide that a good relief from swimming lanes on my bike would be to stop at KFC for some hot chicken. Well, I walk in as everyone is looking at the stupid foreigner dripping wet in a sheet of water with no rain jacket. Well the nice lady at the counter promptly offers me a napkin to wipe myself dry. Not a towel, but a small little KFC napkin that is usually too smmll to get the grease off your index finger. I laughed and looked at the puddle at my feet and the trail of water to the door (no kidding, everyone else used cars and these weird things called umbrellas to stay dry... wonder how an "umbrella" would work on my bike) so, I said thankyou very much and then ordered my 2 pieces to go. As I left, she offered another napkin to dry my face, I laughed, wiped my eyebrow, threw the glob of napkin mache into the garbage and said thank you. Her intentions were polite and that is the custom to do here, especially if you are sweating... but I was wet, I hosently don't think laying down in a puddle would have made a difference.
I didn't take the apartment as it was downtown and about 15 minutes from my school, it was very nice and cheap though. The rain kind of made me more confident in my descision.

Oh, the chicken was pretty good.

One more thing, I bought a pair of noise reducing earphones a week ago. They use a reverse signal to actually cancel out outside noise, it's pretty cool, I can turn them on and not have any music on, just have the noise reduction on and not be able to hear my motorbike. This was only a test! I will not be driving with them. Anyways I wanted to return them because as cool as they were, they sometimes wiggled loose when I was working out and they were very expensive. I was very dilligent in retaining the package, receipt, checking with the store manager and all that stuff. Well, the one thing I forgot about was the raging typhoon outside as I opened the window to look at all the cool stuff blowing around. Well, my packaging was added to this fury. I have now granted permanent assylum to my hi-tech, noise reducing, motor-muffling, base boosting, sound blasting, ear plugging listening device.

I also have a pair of motorcycle friendly earbuds, they have a hole through the center so you can hear all the outside noise and if the volume is low (it always is on my bike, I'm scared witless already) it's just like listening to your car radio.

Well, it's late and I doubt we will get 3 Typhoon days in a row as it's now moved onto China (they'll probably use this excuse to justify "counter" attacking Taiwan).

Oh yeah, the government recently celebrated it's 60th anniversary of defeating Japan. JApan and China were at war and China won and Taiwan is officially part of China and therefore Taiwan won, too... yaaaaaayyy!!!
..... wait...
...China was not drafting from Taiwan at that time, Japan was coming to Taiwan and recruiting/kidnapping Taiwanese to fight AGAINST China on the Japanese side...

...So, did we lose the war, or was Taiwan sort of like a handicap for the Chinese forces?
Sounds like the government should read the history books a little more carefully before throwing a big parade.

The elusive "Typhoon days"

Ok, so the biggest typhoon in five years hit Taiwan this week and Kaohsiung finally got it's long awaited "Typhoon day!" We finally got a day off work because of a natural disaster!!! Earthquakes are common, but are unpredictable, so you can't issue a preventitive closure for that. But Typhoons, now that's a different story, they are big, huge windy and wet, this one was over 500km wide and Taiwan is about 400km, so you couldn't miss this one. Kaohsiung is protected by a mountain range, typhoons and mountains don't get along so well, the mountains take the wind right out of them, and, in doing so, causes the typhoon to release all it's water which washes away all the mountain roads and mountainside as revenge. So, Kaohsiung never gets typhoon days because by the time the typhoon crosses the mountain, it's just a wee rainstorm.
Well, make one big enough and voila! I have a day off work.

So, I am now in a city where everything is closed (almost), what the heck am I supposed to do? Well, the Taiwanese go and get water and supplies before the typhoon. But, foreigners are plain crazy and senseless in the Taiwanese eyes (although because we are white, this makes us wise and stuff... never understood this), so what do we do? We organise "typhoon parties!" The Taiwanese huddle up with families. Foreigners don't have families here, so we group together. One foreigner is crazy enough, get enough of 'em together and you have yourself a bonified nuthouse! So, what is the best thing to do since it's deemed to dangerous to drive the 5 blocks to work? We organise a rugby game in the park! Unfortunately, it fell through, but in keeping with the spirit our party (Big Paul, Nick, Theressa, Sandra and I) went to the park to play in the puddles. On our way there we saw tons of flying sheet metal (don't worry, I had on my motorcycle glasses to protect my eyes from the huge sheets of sheet metal). Paul and I decided to play in the water, so we designated the less adventurous to be on camera detail. Paul and I did huge belly slides on the grass (about 6 inches below the water) and slid about 8 feet each try. Mmy first try gave me a good mouth and nosefull of water (but I had my glasses on). The girls got scared and left, Nick got cold, so they left, Paul and I decided to stay... untill the flying tree almost clipped us. We got some good video journeying across our vast neibhourhood. We saw more flying branches, courigated metal, fallen scooters, busted windows, fallen trees, blowing signs. So, we went to the shady convinient store and bought vodka, orange juice, mango juice and Coca-cola. The glory of Taiwan is than convenient store prices are the same as the grocery store's, the shady place is often cheaper. So, we returned with our "supplies" and watched a movie and stuff. This is Monday night, tomorrow might be a Typhoon day also... we must find other ways to kill ourselves. Overall typhoons suck, we get paid $40 compensation, but we miss out on about $175 of lost wages. Secondly, the weather sucks (I know, that's why it's called a Typhoon day) so it's not like we can go to the beach or anything.

Maybe I can get packed for my trip to Thailand on Saturday, maybe I can make up travel plans... nah, that would require foresight.

My first Post

Well, I have been in Taiwan since January, 2004.

Most people know I am here, but that's about it. I decided to start this blog because my website is just not what I want it to be.

In January, 2004, I stepped off the plane in Taipei, Taiwan, knowing nothing about the country other than they don't speak English... the reason they wanted people like me who CAN speak English.
I arrived at the start of Chinese New Year, this is 10 days long and 10 times as important as Christmas is for us! EVERY shop was closed except for a few of the 7-11s.