"Hood mounted Howitzers"

Anyways, I have decided to drive more offensively in the new year. Tonight I drove to the "Junk Store" for sweatshop products to appease the little minions that I teach and I went to pick up my no longer busted ass computer (the hinge broke again). Anyways, on this 4km round trip, I punched one guy on a scooter, kicked 4 cars and smacked the cellphone out of some guys hand as he was trying to kill me in his sedan. I kept getting cut off by cars, close enough that as I hit my brakes, I kick the side panels on the car, I was beside a bus in the scooter lane and a black sedan cuts out from the parking nose in to the scooter lane, myself and many other scooters, slam on our brakes and I stop about an inch from his door, he's yapping on his cellphone with his window open, he just glances at us and doesn't say anything, completely unconcerned about the mob of people who had just skidded to a stop. I was a little pissed so I reached in his car and smacked the bloody cellphone out of his hand to his girlfriends feet on the other side of the car and told him to "be careful" in Chinese. He looked a little suprised and so I said "Excuse me." and he backed his car up to where it was before he tried to kill us and everyone went thru.

Back to my point, I think I want something to throw at people, I was thinking of a paintball gun to tag people with, but the legalities are endless. Marbles are dangerous to other bikes and a carton of eggs will break. Tennis balls might work, but then again, running over a tennis ball on a scooter isn't that good. Ideas?